


VIXX Drabbles

by Taekoppa



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Dubious Consent, Fluff, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, OT6, Sensual Play, Smut, Wax Play, Wedding Fluff, Wedding dance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:53:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taekoppa/pseuds/Taekoppa
Summary: This is a Vixx Drabbles prompt fic that I will be fulfilling. You guys are free to message me any prompts, ideas, scenarios etc on my AFF account (Taekoppa is my username there as well) or on my tumblr: @zanachan, of Vixx. I write most pairings, but I'm best with Neo, Rabin, Raken and Hyuken. The prompts can be pretty much anything from fluff, angst, smut or triggery stuff. I don't have much limits to what I will write, however if there is something I'm uncomfortable with I'll let you know**Latest chapter**   ~ Neo first time parents ~





	1. Backhugs and confessions

Hello! This was my first prompt from sarrahmarria who requested a drabble on the backhugs that occurred at the Singapore concert and her request included that the other members actually wanted to backhug Hakyeon too. Thank you and I hope you like it! You guys are welcome to send me prompts you can even leave the prompts in the comments if you want or use my AFF account to message me (I'm Taekoppa there too) or even my Tumblr: @zanachan

Thank you and enjoy! (^_^)

 

Hakyeon laughed with glee as each member took their respective seats in a line across the stage. He grinned to himself, thinking how happy he was to get to back-hug each member and whisper what he loved about them in his ear. Letting the members know how much he loved them and being able to express that with physical affection was what made Hakyeon the happiest. And now he got to do it in front of all the Starlight’s too.He so rarely got an opportunity like this, the members never really that much appreciative of his affection and sweet words when they were alone together during practice or at the dorms. It saddened him to an extent to think they wouldn’t have agreed or even wanted this if it wasn’t for the Starlight’s. At least they will appreciate it, he thought to himself, as he made his way over to his first victim. 

He smiled brightly again, pushing his thoughts away and wrapped his arms tightly around Hongbin, relishing in the squeals that could be heard. 

There was little time to talk afterwards in the dressing rooms with the hustle and bustle of finishing up, but when they finally arrived at the hotel, and gathered in the hallway to divide into rooms, Hakyeon couldn’t resist to say something about the back-hugs he had received. 

“I hope I won’t be paying for getting to back-hug you all, for the rest of the week.”

“What do you mean, hyung?”, Wonshik asked.

“You all probably hated it so much you’d want to get revenge.”, Hakyeon spoke, while fiddling with the card to open the first hotel room two of them would be sharing. 

Hakyeon was successful in his attempt and all the members filtered through into the room for the meanwhile. Hakyeon was yet to receive a response and he looked up to see the members giving each other meaningful glances. Hakyeon was immediately suspicious, expecting the worse and he carefully put his bags down in preparation, in case he had to run from a sudden attack. Instead, something happened that made Hakyeon gasp out loud, eyes widening. 

Hongbin had stepped closer from where he was standing a little ways behind Hakyeon, and back-hugged him, arms wrapping around Hakyeon firmly, his face nestled in the crook of Hakyeon’s neck. 

“Hyung”, Hongbin whispered, not liking how tense Hakyeon felt in his embrace. “We love your hugs, why would you think we’d hate it?”

Hakyeon was dumbfounded and he looked up to the other members to see if it wasn’t just him hallucinating from lack of sleep or something. However his members didn’t look surprised at Hongbin’s actions at all, instead they all had soft smiles on their faces as they regarded the two. 

“But…”, Hakyeon began, not even sure how to respond to Hongbin’s question in the first place. “You guys always….I don’t know? Seem to react badly whenever I do things like that.”

“We might pretend that we don’t like it or joke around with you, but the truth is…we enjoy it and appreciate that you want to show us you love us.” When he had finished speaking Hongbin stepped away from Hakyeon and came forward to face him. 

“Hyung, we love you, okay? Please don’t doubt that.” He had placed his hands on Hakyeon’s face and leaned in closer to seal the words with a kiss, before stepping away. 

Sanghyuk’s grinning face then appeared in Hakyeon’s vision and he grasped the leader by the upper arms and turned him around so he could back-hug him as well. 

“It’s always something special if we can make you speechless.”, Sanghyuk laughed, placing a kiss to Hakyeon’s jaw and the leader promptly turned a little red around the cheeks. 

“I…I…don’t know what to say.”, Hakyeon spoke, his voice disbelieving, his hands hanging in the air unsure where they should go. 

Sanghyuk gave another throaty laugh and Hakyoen could feel some of the tension bleed out of him at the warm sound. “My point exactly.”

Sanghyuk released his hold, turning Hakyeon around once again and making the leader face him. “Thank you for always taking care of us hyung.” Sanghyuk promptly left a chaste kiss on Hakyeon’s lips, before he too, stepped away. 

Hakyeon’s brain finally caught up to his body and he moved his fingers to his lips, where Sanghyuk and Hongbin had both kissed him. 

“You guys really mean this?”, he spoke. 

The uncertainty in his voice made Taekwoon step forward and grasp the leader’s hands into his own. 

“Yes.”

He brought their joined hands together and bent down to give a kiss to Hakyeon’s fingers. The leader gave another little gasp and Taekwoon smiled up at him. He turned Hakyeon around in his grasp gracefully, moulding his body against the older and he felt Hakyeon melt into him. Taekwoon’s soft kitten lips brushed against Hakyeon’s ear as he spoke. “We love you Hakyeon, we love that you shower us with affection every chance you get, you make each one of us feel so loved and wanted and that’s more than we can ever ask for.”  
Hakyeon looked up at the members before him, trying to blink tears out of his eyes, unsuccessfully. He couldn’t stop the well of emotion at the words, the truth of those words reflected in the member’s eyes looking back at him. 

“You guys I…”, Hakyeon sniffed loudly and Taekwoon crooned at him in his ear. “I didn’t know you felt this way.”

Taekwoon stepped back with a kiss on the leader’s temple, but before Hakyeon could miss the warmth, Jaehwan had stepped forward. “Of course we do, hyung.” He placed a warm palm to Hakyeon’s cheek and kissed off two tears that had made their way down. Hakyeon couldn’t stop the little sob that escaped his chest and he grasped onto Jaehwan’s shirt, the boy wrapping his arms around Hakyeon tightly, letting the leader cry into his chest. He rested his own cheek on the leader’s head, while rocking them from side to side. “Not a back-hug, but it still counts.” 

Hakyeon nodded eagerly from where he was burrowed down and Jaehwan gave a pleasant laugh at that. He loosened his arms and tilted Hakyeon’s chin up to look into his eyes. “Please don’t feel you need to hide what you’re thinking from us. We’re here to talk to as well and hold you when you cry. You give so much hyung, it’s time you take.” Hakyeon gave a watery smile at that. “Okay, I will.”, he spoke softly.

Jaehwan smiled again and stepped back. Hakyeon automatically glanced at Wonshik.  
Wonshik gave Hakyeon that warm, easy smile that he had come to miss. It wasn’t something Hakyeon saw as often with how busy and stressed the rapper always was.  
The warm smile matched the soft eyes that regarded Hakyeon and the leader almost wanted to dip his head and blush, because of the way Wonshik was looking at him.  
The rapper raised his hand to run his fingers across Hakyeon’s fringe, moving some of the hair out of his eyes. “So pretty”, Wonshik said. 

“Such a beautiful, caring man”, Wonshik leaned forward, lips brushing over the apple of Hakyeon’s cheek until he reached the leader’s ear. “What did we do to deserve you?”  
He wrapped his arms around Hakyeon’s shoulders in a back-hug, nuzzling against the leader, who gave a pleasant sigh. “You’re precious to us.”  
Wonshik cocked his head to the side, indicating for the other members to come forward. 

Hakyeon’s happy laugh bounced off the walls as all five members embraced him in a large group hug, kisses from five different lips fluttering over his skin and Hakyeon couldn’t remember a time where he had ever felt so happy. Five beautiful men loved him and Hakyeon felt so full with the feeling of it, he could burst.


	2. Power Couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ceo Taekwoon attends Seoul Fashion Week and can't seem to take his eyes off famous Idol Leader N. 
> 
> Request from swethaTR on Asianfanfics

Hey guys if anyone has any requests for drabbles they'd like please message me either here or Asianfanfics or even on Tumblr (I'm Zanachan there) 

 

Taekwoon made his way through the crowd, his long coat fluttering behind him as he manoeuvred between the tightly packed room. He couldn’t wait to get to his seat and finally get away from all the bodies bumping against him. It was with a relieved sigh that Taekwoon got to the front of the seats, arranged in perfect rows. He searched until he found the little placecard on the seat that read “CEO Taekwoon”. When he had picked it up and was turning around to take his seat, he saw him.   
The man was dressed in all black. The only skin visible was that of his hands and his face, his neck covered in a black turtleneck.   
Taekwoon knew who he was of course. How couldn’t he. The man’s face was often plastered on posters and billboards, if not as part of his idol group, then for his various commercials and drama’s he played in. He was a successful man and Taekwoon could admit that he knew many of his songs and had watched quite a few of his dramas. 

Cha Hakyeon. 

Taekwoon had had considered him attractive sure, but seeing him via a television screen couldn’t compare to the sight before him. Hakyeon was smiling, chatting to someone on his left, his smile bright and if Taekwoon listened closely he could hear his bell-like laugh. Pretty and clear, Taekwoon was mesmerized by the sound.   
It was only when Hakyeon turned his deep, brown eyes to Taekwoon, that he realised he had been staring. Hakyeon gave him a curious look, albeit friendly smile lingering on his lips as he tilted his head.   
Taekwoon gulped, immediately averting his eyes, cheeks flushing at being caught. He quickly busied himself with taking his seat and it was at that moment as well that the room darkened, spotlights hovering over the catwalk as the show began.   
Taekwoon found it hard to concentrate however. He should’ve been keeping his eyes glued to the models and fashion items displayed, he was responsible for the funding of the show anyway, but instead he found his eyes drifting over toward the other side of the catwalk to where Hakyeon was sitting and watching with avid attention, the models walk up and down. 

Taekwoon liked how he could easily see the emotion displayed on the idols face. Whenever he liked a certain piece or outfit his eyes would widen slightly, his mouth forming a little “o” in surprise and whenever something wasn’t to his fancy, he would pull his mouth a certain way. It was endearing in a way to see such an open display of emotions.   
It was whilst he was so busy observing the leader that his bright eyes caught Taekwoon’s again as they were applauding the end of the show. He was grinning at Taekwoon, an eyebrow raised in amusement and Taekwoon immediately flushed again, bowing his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, berating himself internally for being such an idiot. Really, could he be more obvious? He was a grown man, a professional CEO and here he was openly ogling an idol like he was some awestruck fanboy.   
“Get yourself together, Jung Taekwoon”, he murmured to himself as the lights turned back to normal and people started getting up from their seats to mingle after the show. 

“Hello” 

The voice came from to the side of Taekwoon, where he had been bent down, putting his name card back on his seat as he wasn’t going to take it with him. Taekwoon startled, swallowing hard, because he had a sinking feeling who the voice belonged to.   
He rose slowly, eyes wary as they regarded the smiling figure before him. “Hello”, he spoke softly, oh so hesitant, fingers still fumbling with the namecard.   
“Hi”, Hakyeon perked, smile practically sparkling. “Did you enjoy the show?”, he asked.   
Taekwoon swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “Y-yes.”, he stammered, flushing a little under his thick coat.   
“Hmm”, Hakyeon hummed, smile turning a little sly. “You seemed to enjoy observing not only the models.”, his voice lilting at the end, leaving a question in the air.   
Taekwoon’s eyes widened involuntarily, his heart starting to hammer in his chest. “Wh-what?” His brain was stuck on the thought that oh gosh he had noticed…he noticed, he noticed…

Hakyeon laughed, that beautiful bell-like laugh, and took Taekwoon’s arm, leading the male out of the room. Taekwoon followed automatically as if he didn’t have a choice.   
“What interest does CEO Taekwoon have with me?”  
Taekwoon whipped his head to the side, staring at Hakyeon. “You know who I am?”  
Hakyeon laughed pleasantly again as they stepped out onto the street, coming to a standstill on the pavement. It had been raining while they were inside. The smell of fresh rain pungent in the air.   
“Of course I do! Young, handsome CEO of Jung incorporation? You’re quite the catch mr. Jung”, Hakyeon spoke, winking at Taekwoon.   
Taekwoon flushed bright red. “No, no, what are you even talking about?”  
“Ohh come on, you were staring at me the whole night. Don’t tell me you were going to leave it at that?”  
“I…I didn’t think…”  
“Come”, Hakyeon said next, taking Taekwoon’s hand in his own. “I know a great coffee shop around the corner.” 

Three days later, when Taekwoon couldn’t help but call the beautiful, bubbly, impulsive singer back, they were dating.

“Oh my gosh, Taekwoon you have to see this!”  
Taekwoon climbed off the bed and padded over to Hakyeon, who was situated in the big, fancy chair, reading a magazine, in the corner of the hotel room. When he was close enough, Hakyeon patted his thigh, still clad in his boxers, to indicate the urgency of Taekwoon’s attention.   
“We’re Seoul hottest couple!”, Hakyeon exclaimed, looking up at him with shining eyes while turning the magazine so Taekwoon could see for himself.   
Taekwoon let out a groan the second he saw the bright red caption of the article. “Seoul’s hottest power couple. CEO Taekwoon and Famous Idol leader Hakyeon.”, it read. The article was accompanied with a picture of them leaving the airport in Japan, holding hands.   
Taekwoon thunked his head down onto Hakyeon’s shoulder. Hakyeon laughed with glee, threading his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair to soothe him. 

“Hottest power couple”, he grinned. “I like it.”  
Taekwoon raised his head to glare at Hakyeon, a pout, unconsciously on his lips. Hakyeon sighed fondly. Taekwoon so didn’t realize how cute he was at all. Hakyeon leaned forward and kissed the pout right off his lips. The glare Taekwoon had been giving him faded immediately, his eyes softening and a hand came to cradle Hakyeon’s face.   
“I want us to be able to have privacy”, he explained, running his thumb over the high of Hakyeon’s cheekbone.  
“Next week someone else will be the hottest couple and then they’ll forget all about us. Besides this could be good business for you. And gain me quite a bit of fans.”  
Taekwoon narrowed his eyes playfully. “So that’s why you’re dating me, for fame?”  
Hakyeon laughed, tossing his head back. “Yes, nevermind the fact that technically called me and asked me out?”, Hakyeon smirked.   
Taekwoon leaned in and skimmed his nose along Hakyeon’s jawline. “After you practically forced me to go along with you to that café.”   
“Hmm, maybe I should have held back.” Taekwoon scoffed at this.   
Hakyeon smiled, eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of Taekwoon’s skin against his. “Please, you couldn’t keep your eyes off me, there’s no way you could’ve resisted this.”  
Taekwoon laughed and nipped at his jaw playfully. “I still can’t.”  
Taekwoon had pulled back to look straight at Hakyeon. He could plainly see how the other registered his statement, his eyes softening until Taekwoon felt like he was staring into melting swirls of brown chocolate. He felt the heat of Hakyeon’s blush underneath his hand and then he leant in kissing the soft lips. “Neither can I.”, Hakyeon whispered against his lips.


	3. Surprise Surprise

This one is a request from Sugarysugar92 from AFF who requested an envious Wonshik when Hakyeon leaves him alone for his holiday in Japan. He then becomes sulky and Hakyeon has to make it up to him. I hope you enjoy it! This is cross posted to AFF and I take requests both here and on AFF. I'm Taekoppa there as well feel free to give me a request (^-^)

 

“Aww, come on Wonshik, don’t give me that face.”  
Wonshik refused to relent with his pout. He looked up at Hakyeon standing in the doorway, widening his eyes a little, hoping somehow that Hakyeon would give in and stay with him, but knowing ultimately that wouldn’t happen. He couldn’t ask that of Hakyeon anyway.  
He was just sulking besides, and looking at the guilty expression on Hakyeon’s face, made him only feel guilty for asking it of Hakyeon.  
“It was your own choice to stay!”, Hakyeon broke the silence, tugging at Wonshik’s jacket. Wonshik sighed finally giving up on his pout. “I know”, he smiled then and tugged Hakyeon closer, pressing a solid kiss to the leader’s lips.  
Hakyeon grinned too then, and Wonshik was glad the guilty expression had vanished.  
Hakyeon was reluctant to pull away and instead stood close to Wonshik, fingers clutching on the material of his jacket. He appreciated the extra warmth, it was freezing outside and he would soon have to face the piling snow.  
“You could always come with me. My parents invited you.”, he whispered against the other’s lips.  
“I want to, believe me, but with Nirvana coming up and-“  
I know, I know.”, Hakyeon interrupted, finally pulling away and patting down the rumpled material of Wonshik’s jacket.  
“And I’ll be back before it’s released. It’s only four days. I’ll be back before you know it and you’ll be working yourself half dead most of the time anyway.”  
Wonshik gave a grin at this, running his fingers over Hakyeon’s fringe as he talked.  
“But please don’t overwork yourself. I’m going to be over there worrying if you’re getting any sleep, so do me a favour and do. I’ll know.”, Hakyeon narrowed his eyes as he finished and Wonshik couldn’t help but laugh fondly.  
“How?”  
“I have my ways.”, Hakyeon sniffed, reaching down to gather his bags.  
Wonshik caught the other’s chin when he rose and kissed him, soft and slow this time, lingering, running his tongue over Hakyeon’s lips before they parted, and Hakyeon was breathless after, his eyes glazed over. Wonshik loved that he could do this to Hakyeon with kisses alone. Then again Hakyeon had exactly the same effect on him. They were smitten for each other basically.  
“Bye, baby.”, Wonshik spoke, giving a squeeze to Hakyeon’s hand before the other whispered a goodbye and let go.  
He closed the door and sighed. Alone. Completely. All the other members, and Hakyeon now included were off with their respective families enjoying a peaceful holiday together. Except for him. He chose to stay here and work, finishing his album until it was perfect. He could already feel the stress set in, tension settling in his back. He missed Hakyeon already. The other had a presence that made you relax without even knowing. 

 

“You’re kidding me.”  
Hakyeon gulped, looking down guiltily.  
“Again?”  
“What do you mean again?”, Hakyeon enquired. “Are you talking about the holiday two weeks ago? Honestly Wonshik this is a different situation.”  
Wonshik frowned, knowing ultimately Hakyeon was right. Again.  
“But I really wanted you to be there…”, Wonshik whined  
“Shik…I know.”, Hakyeon sighed, placing his warm palm on Wonshik’s cheek. Hakyeon noticed how weary the other looked. He’d been working hard these last few days, and now he had finished up everything for the Nirvana concert. And now Hakyeon couldn’t even be there to see it.  
“I’m so sorry. They scheduled the shoot tomorrow night. There just are certain scenes we need to do at night and it’s not like I can just tell them I can’t make it.”  
Wonshik sighed leaning forward until his forehead rested against Hakyeon’s. He pressed a quick kiss to the skin there. “I understand.”

Wonshik was sweaty, sweeping a hand through his hair that had fallen in his eyes during the performance. He was about to go up for the second half of the concert when there was a sudden increase in high pitched screaming from the audience. Wonshik strained to hear. They were shouting something.  
“Oppa!”, he finally made out. Strange…why would they be screaming that when he wasn’t on stage yet. Wonshik stepped out onto the stage as he was due to do anyway. The harsh lighting made it difficult to see but as he stepped forward enough so he could view the crowd, his heart skipped a beat.  
There Hakyeon sat, beaming, practically vibrating with energy in his seat as he waved around a banner that said “I love you Oppa”, written in bright pink glitter. Wonshik couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Only Hakyeon.  
How or why he was here Wonshik had no clue and he would have to wait until after the show to find out, but for now he had to go on. It was nice. To sing and rap while Hakyeon was staring up at him cheering him on and exuding support. And close to the end when Wonshik stepped out in his final outfit, loose pants and jacket with no shirt on, he caught the fiery look Hakyeon gave him and smirked.  
He couldn’t wait to get Hakyeon backstage after the show and make those fiery eyes melt with kisses. 

 

“Hakyeon!”, Wonshik grinned as he watched the other male step through the doorway of the dressing room.  
Hakyeon walked straight up to the other and climbed onto his lap, thighs bracketing the others hips.  
“Oh”, wonshik whispered.  
Hakyeon only smiled before capturing the others face in his hands and kissing him deeply. Wonshik immediately warmed up to it and grasped onto the others waist, clutching him closer. Wonshik moaned and Hakyeon ground down, teeth nipping at his lower lip.  
“You looked so sexy tonight.”, Hakyeon spoke, moving away slightly to look Wonshik in the eyes. His voice was husky and Wonshik had to supress a groan.  
“Babe, how come you’re here?”, Wonshik managed to get out.  
“We finished early.”, Hakyeon grinned proudly. “And I couldn’t miss your concert. But!” and here Hakyeon held up his index finger, eyes bright. “Tonight I’m making it up to you, the holiday thing I mean.”  
“Hakyeon you really don’t have to. Besides you being here is enough.”  
“Nah ah, tonight I’m taking you out on a hot date.” Hakyeon winked before leaning closer and bringing his lips to Wonshik’s ear.  
“And then…we’ll be continuing this.” His fingers traced down Wonshik’s jaw and neck, nails scratching softly as he travelled lower to Wonshik’s exposed abdomen, stopping just before the others belt.  
Wonshik groaned again darting forward to kiss the other. Hakyeon couldn’t help but smile triumphantly into the kiss.


	4. Kitchen Confidential

Hello! This one was requested by Dulanga from AFF. The request was the start of Hakyeon and Taekwoon liking each other but neither knowing they liked each other as well as the start of their relationship. It kind of got angsty as I wrote it...but like it has a happyy ending and I still stuck with the request, but the story really wrote itself XD i hope you all like it!

 

The kitchen had become something of a sanctuary to Hakyeon. At 4 am in the mornings when he somehow couldn’t sleep any longer, even though he was exhausted, he’d step into the kitchen. The faint lights of the appliances and the dim blue of the sky starting to light up through the window from the living room seemed to soothe his soul. The quiet hum of the refrigerator and the occasional soft snore he could hear from Wonshik’s room calmed his thoughts. It was often Hakyeon’s milling thoughts that woke him from sleep, but here in the emptiness and quiet of the kitchen he found peace. The only thing was, it was a little lonely….

Taekwoon woke up. It was the fifth night in a row that he had trouble sleeping. He’s tried everything. Normally he’d be able to fall back asleep if he put his earphones in and listened to some music, but not this week. Nothing was working. With a sigh Taekwoon sat up, shoving the covers off himself. He’d get himself a glass of water.   
“Oh, Hakyeon.”   
Taekwoon had walked into the kitchen only to find Hakyeon, leaning down onto the counter with his elbows, staring at the window across the room.   
“Taekwoonie.”, Hakyeon said, straightening. “What are you doing up?”  
“I couldn’t sleep.”  
Hakyeon hummed. “Yeah, tell me about it.”  
“Is everything okay?”, Taekwoon asked softly, coming to stand next to Hakyeon. Hakyeon looked up at him and sighed. He was silent for a little bit, simply staring at Taekwoon. Taekwoon squirmed a bit under the intense gaze. Finally Hakyeon opened his mouth and talked.   
And so their private sanctuary was born. Nights, or mornings rather, they’d meet each other in the kitchen. Some nights it was to talk about their worries, other nights their fears for the future. Some nights they’d tell each other things from their past, talk about deep secrets that no one else knew about. Sometimes they felt too lighthearted and would talk about the silliest things, trying to stifle their laughter so as to not to wake the others. And then there were nights when they hardly spoke. Just sitting next to each other on the kitchen floor, comforting each other with simply presence alone. There were times when Hakyeon wasn’t able to talk, silent tears streaming down his face and Taekwoon would hold him, brush his fingers through his hair until he calmed down. He wouldn’t ask if Hakyeon was alright and the leader appreciated that. He would simply hold him and Hakyeon felt the safest and most cared for he ever had. When it would truly become close to the time they had to wake up Hakyeon would disentangle himself from Taekwoon and whisper a small thank you, sometimes squeeze his hand when he still didn’t have the courage to speak. 

And sometimes it was Taekwoon in turn who had unrelenting thoughts. Thoughts that drove him crazy, enough that he wanted to pull out his hair, shaking with every breath and Hakyeon would be there, would hold his face with soft gentle fingers and whisper over and over again that he was alright, that he was safe, that Hakyeon was here for him and slowly he’d drift out of that trance and his eyes would be able to focus again, thoughts finally becoming coherent. His breathing would slow and Hakyeon would hug him, tell him to breathe with him, the slow rise and fall of Hakyeon’s chest chasing away every last bit of anxiety gnawing at him. Hakyeon would kiss his temple, and Taekwoon would hold onto his arms with shaky fingers.   
All of this, this time spent together, seeing each other through the best and worst, something had grown between them, they cared for each other deeply, but it had become more than that. 

It was another night where Hakyeon had tears in his eyes, but he wouldn’t tell Taekwoon what was wrong and Taekwoon couldn’t stand seeing Hakyeon this sad. It was as if it was getting worse with time.   
“Hakyeon, please, I can’t stand seeing you this sad all the time.”   
Taekwoon was on his knees on the kitchen floor, before Hakyeon who was hugging his knees to his chest, sniffling, looking up at the other with scared eyes.   
“I just..I..Taekwoon I’ve started to realize something and I…”, Hakyeon took a deep breath, “I should probably tell you but I…I don’t want to ruin this.”, Hakyeon whispered so softly, Taekwoon had to strain his ears even in the silence of the dead of the night.   
“What do you mean?”  
Hakyeon looked terrified, squeezing his eyes shut tighter and a few tears that were caught on his lashes fell. “I like you Taekwoon.”, he whispered barely. This time though Taekwoon caught the words and looked at Hakyeon in surprise.   
“Hakyeon”, he spoke.   
Hakyeon didn’t respond. If he stayed like this forever he’d never have to face Taekwoon’s response.   
“Hakyeon, open your eyes.”  
Hakyeon obeyed finally to see the other smiling softly at him.   
Taekwoon didn’t say anything, simply leaned forward and kissed Hakyeon on the lips, soft and gentle as if Hakyeon would break. Hakyeon’s eyes fluttered in surprise. “What?”, Hakyeon asked dumbly, not quite believing what just happened.   
Taekwoon’s lips curled in that pretty, catlike smile, he reached out a hand to cradle Hakyeon’s face, thumb rubbing the cheekbone and brushing some residual tears away. Hakyeon leaned into it, involuntarily. “I like you too, darling”, Taekwoon whispered and Hakyeon promptly blushed at the endearment, eyes shying away from the other. 

 

We really shouldn’t be doing this”, Hakyeon said and he went to sit up on the kitchen counter.   
Taekwoon grinned dangerously, stepping closer to the other.   
Hakyeon dipped the teaspoon into the peanut butter jar and licked it off. “This midnight snacking is going to show in a couple of weeks”  
“Worth it.”,Taekwoon mumbled around his owned peanut butter filled spoon.   
Hakyeon rolled his eyes fondly. Taekwoon did so love his food.   
Taekwoon took a couple more bites before he put the jar away and put the spoons in the basin. Hakyeon was still propped onto the counter, swinging his bare legs, watching the other. It was summer. The nights hot and humid and they only slept in shorts.   
Taekwoon stepped into the bracket of the others legs. He kissed Hakyeon slowly, warm hands gliding over bare skin and Hakyeon promptly shivered. 

“We really shouldn’t be doing this.”  
Taekwoon chuckled.   
“The others could walk in any moment.”  
“We’ve been meeting here for two months now and no one hasn’t. And we’ve been together together for what, four weeks and not one of them have even realized. I wonder how long it will take them.”  
“The longer the better.”, Hakyeon grunted, Taekwoon had pushed him to lean back, his arms supporting him behind himself, while Taekwoon bit into his shoulder.   
Taekwoon licked over the bite and Hakyeon groaned. Taekwoon stepped away then, taking a hold of Hakyeon’s calf before pressing a kiss to the skin there. He moved up with little kisses and bites, all the while holding eye contact with the other and Hakyeon had to supress his noises. Taekwoon had reached his thigh, sucking on the highest part of it that was exposed.   
Hakyeon let his head fall back between his shoulders, eyes squeezing shut. Taekwoon could see him begin to harden in his shorts.   
Hakyeon whimpered when Taekwoon bit down. “Taekwoon”, he whispered and the younger couldn’t supress the shiver that wracked him when Hakyeon sounded so wrecked already. He’d hardly touched the other. He gripped Hakyeon’s thighs, knowing that the other liked this, liked Taekwoon dominating him with touches and well spoken words.   
He bit down on the other thigh this time and Hakyeon gave his loudest groan yet. 

“What the fuck, we eat breakfast there!”

Both of them whipped around to see Hongbin standing in entrance of the kitchen, looking thoroughly disgruntled and creeped out.   
“On the counter, really”  
Hakyeon shoved Taekwoon’s head from between his thighs, his cheeks flaming in embarrassment.  
“Hongbin, this isn’t-”  
Hongbin had raised a disbelieving eyebrow and Hakyeon had stopped. There was no way to really explain their way out of this.   
“Ugh, just clean up after you’re done.”, Hongbin said and then turned around stomping back to his room.   
Hakyeon blinked. “Did he just…?”  
Taekwoon looked taken aback too. “Maybe that was his way of saying he’s okay with it?”  
Hakyeon laughed then, he couldn’t stop himself and Taekwoon joined in, hoisting the other off the counter and into his arms, still smiling as they met in a kiss.


	5. You like to tease

hey guys! I have an ot6 angsty request that was n centric from byeoulreenxx on AFF. I struggled a bit with this one and I'm not 100% happy with it, but I think it still reads alright? I hope? Either way I hope you all at least enjoy reading it and that it isnt too bad. its also a bit longer than what the other drabbles have been thus far. Anyway remember to either message me on here or leave a comment for any requests for drabbles you guys might have XD Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos I've received! I really appreciate it (^o^)

 

Hakyeon clenched his teeth, turning his back to the others. He walked away. He always did. Kept his mouth shut and had to swallow their words they just carelessly threw around.   
He was sick of it, but he had to keep the peace right? He was their leader so he couldn’t be the one that started the fight. He just had to take being their human punching bag. Sometimes he wished they’d rather physically hurt him than to make fun of him constantly.   
If it wasn’t his skin, it was his height, basically any characteristic of him they somehow found a way to belittle him about. He felt sick to his stomach as he heard them snicker behind his back.   
In a brilliant flash of anger that boiled up inside him, he turned around, face twisting as he shouted. 

“Would you shut the fuck up! I’ve fucking had enough of all you constantly shitting on me!”  
They all stared back at him with wide eyes and Hakyeon immediately regretted shouting those words at them. They didn’t mean to and now Hakyeon couldn’t take those words back. He stepped forward, apology ready on his lips, when Hongbin’s lips turned into a snarl, eyes narrowing.   
“You have some nerve. You go on and on and on and demand one thing after the other of us! Don’t you think we’re sick of hearing your voice complaining about every little thing, pushing us to do things we don’t want to. I believe I speak for everyone here when I say we’re sick and tired of you and your shit Hakyeon.”  
“Hongbin that’s enough!”, Taekwoon shouted from the other side of the room. He had a deep frown as he fixed his gaze on the two.   
An awkward silence fell, but all Hakyeon could hear was the ringing in his ears, from his own, or Hongbin’s, or Taekwoon’s shouting he didn’t know. But tears were burning in his eyes and his breathing was rapid. The moment the tears spilt over though he tore through the room and out the door.   
He didn’t stop to take anything with him, just ran out of the building, out of the cloying air of the practice room.

Hakyeon was cold, fingers gripping onto the thin sweatshirt he had on while practising. It’s not like he stopped on the way to get his jacket. He knew he had to go back eventually, his phone and wallet were inside after all and whether they were fighting or not they still had a comeback to prepare for and petty little arguments certainly wouldn’t be a good enough excuse as to way they weren’t busy at the moment. 

Hakyeon dreaded going back though. He knew the words spoken between him and Hongbin were simply in the heat of the moment and they both always tended to blow up quickly and then calm down and realise they spoke rashly. None the less, Hakyeon was stuck on the reason he blew up at them in the first place.   
Their constant teasing and belittling of him never stopped. Situations like these happened and afterwards they’d apologize and make up, but the cause of it was never solved, was it? He’s had enough.   
Their words stung, little stabs at his chest that made his heart clench painfully. He loved them. Each and every one of them dearly and still they treated him like this.  
He knew he was everyone’s least favourite, they made that very clear. There had to be some truth to their words anyway, right? And if not for their words, their actions spoke loud enough. The way they’d groan when they were on a team with him or had to room with him. They even played rock, paper scissors just to decide who would share the room with him. All those little things that happened day after day has been building up and hurting Hakyeon. Even if he hadn’t realised it, he knew it now and honestly he didn’t want to put himself through that anymore.   
He’d cut himself off then, force himself to bury his feelings for them all. If he didn’t feel anything for them, their words wouldn’t hurt him anymore, right?   
He sat there for maybe another hour, drowned in his own thoughts. He felt so alone. He was used to the warmth of their love surrounding him. Of course he was putting this distance between them himself, but still. It was a lonely place to be.   
He was cold towards them, only initiating words and contact when necessary, afterwards he’d step away, keep that physical distance between them. It made it easier to create the emotional distance he needed.   
They were careful around him he knew. Hongbin especially. When he’d returned from outside Hongbin had approached him immediately, wanting to apologize.   
“Hyung, I…-”  
Hakyeon cut him off, turning his back on the other. “It doesn’t matter Hongbin.”  
“I…okay”. And so they continued with their work, but the air around them was obviously stilted.   
At home they usually curled up together and watched a movie in the living room, but Hakyeon made sure to set things apart from the norm tonight. He grabbed something to eat he could take into his room, mumbled out that he was going to bed and shut the door.   
It kind of felt like he was throwing a little tantrum in a silent way, to make it obvious to them that he was upset about things, but at this point Hakyeon hardly thought they even noticed, or cared for that matter. 

Hakyeon was sitting on his bed, curled up, thoughts still milling around when there was a knock on his door.   
A black mop of hair popped out from the opening in the door and Hakyeon promptly sighed as Taekwoon stepped inside and closed the door behind him.   
Hakyeon laid down on his side, curled up as Taekwoon came to sit next to him.   
The other stayed silent for a while before he rested a hand lightly on Hakyeon’s head, fingers playing with his fringe. Hakyeon bit his lip, the soft comforting touch sending a wave of emotion rocking through him. He had missed them all so much and Taekwoon’s simple touch had reminded him of that.   
“Hakyeon”, Taekwoon spoke, the sound of his voice so soft and caring, careful almost as if he was afraid of scaring Hakyeon and that did it. Hakyeon gave a sob that wracked through his chest and Taekwoon reacted immediately, cradling the other in his arms as Hakyeon cried. 

“What’s going on, my darling?”, Taekwoon whispered into his hair. “Things like this morning happen all the time. You know Hongbin didn’t mean it.”  
Hakyeon broke away from his arms, tears running down his cheeks. “That’s not the point Taekwoon. I’m tired of being everyone’s punching bag when they’re frustrated with our job. And there has to be some truth to what they say. To what all of you say.” Hakyeon scooted away from the other on the bed. “You all hate spending time with me anyway. It’s a burden to you, you make it so obvious”  
“Hakyeon…I-”  
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”  
Taekwoon looked guilty now, eyes dropping to the duvet. He was nervous now, Hakyeon could tell. He was fingering the fringes. He knew them all so well, loved them….but clearly they only sat up with him because they had no other choice.   
“We just tease you Hakyeon, you know the others like playing with you.”  
“Well it hurts! Have any of you ever thought about how it makes me feel?! How unwanted you all make me feel each and every time you say things like that?”  
Taekwoon was silent, but his fingers clenched around the bedding. “I’m so sorry Hakyeon.”, he said and the other was surprised at the sincerity in his voice. “We never considered your feelings for a moment. Which was very wrong of us. We do love you Hakyeon. So much. And we really don’t say it enough. Especially when you give us so much love in everything you do for us.”  
Hakyeon’s lip trembled at the confession, tears threatening to fall once again. Taekwoon rested his warm palm on Hakyeon’s cheek, thumb brushing away residual tears.   
“The others are outside the door.”, Taekwoon whispered. “They wanted to apologize too.”  
Hakyeon snorted, opening his eyes. They had fallen shut when Taekwoon had cradled his face.   
“They don’t even know what they’re apologizing for.”  
“They realized they’ve taken it too far. But you should still tell them how you feel.”  
Hakyeon hummed. “I wonder how long it will last before they start with me again.”  
Taekwoon grimaced. “I’ll make sure to keep them in place.”  
Hakyeon couldn’t help to smile at that. He could never stay mad at Taekwoon too long. The other was too sweet, too honest and caring compared to the few times he joined along in the teasing. Hakyeon leaned forward to peck him on the lips. “Thank you, love”  
Taekwoon blushed, linking their fingers together, he stood, bringing Hakyeon up with him. “Come on, let’s go to the living room then we can talk to the others.”

The moment Hakyeon stepped out of the door, he was enveloped in a hug by Jaehwan. Hakyeon couldn’t help but chuckle. “Hyung, we’re so sorry.”, he spoke into Hakyeon neck, squeezing the elder against him.   
Hakyeon grinned petting the others hair. “I know, baby, I’m sorry too.”  
“You have nothing to be sorry about hyung.”  
It was Hongbin that had spoken up and Hakyeon looked at him, glad to feel all the angry, cold resentment he had felt towards the other had disappeared. He hated putting up a front. Pretending he didn’t care about them even for this short while had made him feel incredibly miserable. Even if harsh words had passed between them, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t love each and every one of them. He knew they loved him too. He just wished they’d show it in their actions more often, as he did to them.   
“Hyung, I’m really sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I get angry so quickly and don’t think before speaking and I know it’s something I need to work on. I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry.”

“Come here”, Hakyeon spoke, opening his arms and Hongbin immediately stepped into his embrace, burying his face into his neck. It made Hakyeon smile. Hongbin was very mature, but often he had reactions to things that were very childlike.   
“I love you.” Hakyeon spoke, petting the others hair.   
Hongbin trembled in Hakyeon’s arms, and Hakyeon could feel a few tears wet his shirt. “I love you so much hyung, I’m so sorry for saying those awful things to you.”  
Hakyeon felt tempted to cry at the raw honest emotions in Hongbin’s voice. It was such a rare thing to see, but at that moment Hakyeon felt a large figure hug him from behind, arms even able to wrap around Hongbin too. Hakyeon recognized the voice at his ear immediately.   
“Thank you for all you do for us, hyung.”, Sanghyuk whispered.   
Jaehwan and Wonshik stepped forward to take a hold of each of Hakyeon’s hands. Hakyeon smiled from ear to ear practically. He could get used to these shows of affection. The two were smiling back at him fondly. 

“Will you take a rest from teasing me? At least from the things you know I’m insecure about.”, Hakyeon spoke, addressing them all.   
“Yes, hyung.”, the immediate answer came in perfect unison and Hakyeon promptly chuckled. He would make sure to remind them of this moment each time they dared tease him again. 

Hakyeon caught Taekwoon’s eye from where he stood a few steps away, regarding the whole situation with a soft smile. He looked like a particularly proud father. “Now you know”, he spoke, mirth swirling in those pretty, catlike eyes.  
“What?”, Hakyeon asked, smiling brightly as Taekwoon stepped forward.   
Taekwoon caught the others chin between his fingers.

“That we love you.”, he spoke, before kissing Hakyeon on the lips.


	6. Love la la la

Hello! here's the next one which was a request of sapphiresapphirine from AFF who wanted a Haken drabble. I won't give away details hehe but I hope you guys enjoy it! And remember you guys can comment any requests you have for drabbles as well as message me on AFF. 

Enjoy! 

“Love lalala” Jaehwan sang as he passed the members in the kitchen, getting his own bowl of cereal. “I love you”, he sang in a sing – song voice, pointing his finger at Hakyeon, who was innocently sitting at the kitchen island on a barstool and eating his own cereal.   
Hakyeon regarded him with large eyes, feeling his heartbeat speed up a little. Jaehwan grinned and winked, over the top as always and swung his finger over to Hongbin, sitting next to Hakyeon. “I love you.”, he spoke again. He moved on to the next member. “And I love you.”  
Hakyeon sighed, and rolled his eyes at his bowl of cereal. He was being silly. Jaehwan just loved saying that to everyone. 

 

Jaehwan was sweaty. Hakyeon was working them like a pack of mules in the practice room, running over and over their choreo. They were taking a break now though, the members drifting to different corners of the room only to fall down onto the floor and drown themselves in bottles of water. Jaehwan, always full of energy even if he was physically tired from practice, was weighing his options of who he could plop down next to for some well-deserved attention and comfort in the form of touches. Hakyeon immediately came to mind. The leader had such a soft spot for him and Jaehwan always got the most genuine attention and affection from the other. Hakyeon and him were like minded. They both liked reassurance in the form of touches and words, they both craved affection and Jaehwan never felt like he could get the same amount of care from anyone else. He secretly like Hakyeon’s affection more anyway, because aside from having many things in common and being able to talk for hours in the quiet of their living room couch, the leader was gorgeous. Tan glowing skin. Especially now that he was sitting on the floor, the lights of the practice room illuminating the sweat dripping down his temples and neck as he tipped his head back between his shoulders, panting.   
Jaehwan licked his lips, appreciating he sight. He snapped back to reality though when Hakyeon raised his head, looking straight at him. He sighed, knowing that he should put his inappropriate thoughts of Hakyeon away, and smiled stepping close to sit down next to the leader.   
“Hyunggg”, Jaehwan leaned close to the other, wrapping his hands around Hakyeon’s arm. “Did I do a good job dancing?”  
Hakyeon grimaced at their closeness and carefully pulled Jaehwan’s fingers off him. “I’m hot Jaehwan, don’t sit so close to me.”   
Jaehwan was surprised to say the least. Hakyeon had never before rejected him. Even this little form of pushing the other away had never happened before.   
Jaehwan turned serious immediately, smile falling off his face, folding his hands into his own lap. “Is something wrong, hyung?”  
Hakyeon frowned looking down at the floor, before finally sighing. “No, nothing’s wrong.” He stood up abruptly, leaving Jaehwan on the hardwood floor, confused and a little hurt. 

It continued to happen right through the week. Jaehwan would approach Hakyeon, only for the other to shake him off and deliberately engage in the company of one of the other members. Even seeking affection from them. Jaehwan was flabbergasted. It’s like he was doing it deliberately, ignoring Jaehwan deliberately as well! One or two times fine, but literally day after day for almost a week…this was ridiculous. Jaehwan missed him. Missed their close conversations, whispering in the dark of the living room. Jaehwan would often get cold and wiggle his feet under Hakyeon’s legs for warmth. Hakyeon would rub his hands over Jaehwan’s legs as they talked.   
The comfort of Hakyeon’s presence was the best though. There was something about him that just made Jaehwan feel safe and wanted and loved. He missed it terribly. He wanted the other close again. 

It was Saturday afternoon. Hakyeon was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his Instagram on his phone. They were alone in the dorm except for Hongbin hauled up in his room, playing video games.   
Jaehwan couldn’t take the annoying ping in his chest at Hakyeon’s constant rejection, he felt humiliated too, because every time he had tried to come close to the other, attempt the most basic conversation or type of affection, Hakyeon physically moved away from, practically throwing his attention at the other members. They pushed him away too oftentimes. Which served him right, Jaehwan thought as he stared at the other, unsuspecting on the couch.   
His ego had finally taken enough hits. He needed to resolve this in his own way. Which included seducing the leader…sort of.   
Basically walking straight up to him, climbing into his lap, grabbing a hold of his face and kissing him right on the lips.   
Jaehwan didn’t account for the fact that Hakyeon would make a surprised little noise as their lips touched, eyes wide as he pushed Jaehwan away by the shoulders.   
“Jaehwan…”, Hakyeon spoke. The tone of his voice made Jaehwan curl up with shame. He had acted so rashly, but he hadn’t even considered how this ultimate rejection would make him feel. Hakyeon didn’t want him, he never had. He was so stupid to even think of doing something like this. 

“I…I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was doing.”, Jaehwan clambered off the others lap, desperately trying to get out of the room and away from the situation.   
Hakyeon grabbed onto his wrist stopping him. “Jaehwan.”   
Jaehwan felt like his face was burning in shame. He dropped his head and eyes, trying to avoid looking at Hakyeon at all costs.   
“Jaehwan, why did you kiss me?” Hakyeon’s voice was faint, wavering slightly and Jaehwan squeezed his eyes shut at the sound.   
He was silent for a while. The feeling of Hakyeon’s warm hand around the skin of his wrist burning, distracting him. He swallowed finally, licking his lips before he spoke. “I love you Hakyeon.”  
He was still turned away from Hakyeon, refusing to see the reaction on Hakyeon’s face. The grip around his wrist loosened a little and Jaehwan felt that pang in his heart again. Hakyeon was going to let him go. He didn’t feel the same way. 

Hakyeon’s voice was full of emotion when he spoke. He sounded tortured and it made Jaehwan tear up for some reason. “You say I love you to everyone.”  
Jaehwan whipped around, staring at the other. “What? I don’t! I’ve never!”  
Hakyeon let out a deprecating laugh. “Jaehwan you say it to everyone on a daily basis.”  
“Hakyeon…I don’t say it like that…or I don’t mean it like that when I say it to the other members. Of course I love them, but I…I love you. I love love you.”   
Jaehwan smiled shyly, head dipping down. He could feel the tips of his ears warming. 

“How do I know you’re serious?”  
Jaehwan smiled lopsidedly at the other, raising his eyebrow. “I kissed you?”  
It was Hakyeon’s turn to blush and Jaehwan stepped forward, sliding onto the couch next to the other. He took Hakyeon’s hand in his.   
“Hakyeon. I love you. And only you.” He leaned forward kissing Hakyeon on the lips.  
This time Hakyeon didn’t pull away. Instead he relaxed into the other’s hold, lips opening to deepen their kiss. “I love you too Jaehwannie.”


	7. Compulsion

a little of an inbetween drabble of my own which I just wanted to write until I start on the next request XD I hope you all like this one

Hakyeon’s head rolled back, eyes closed, lips parted slightly as he breathed in, the air, the sensations around him. The pulsating lights caught his silver hair in just the right way. It made him shine. But it wasn’t only that. It was the glistening golden skin that seemed to shimmer as he moved. It was the loose white shirt that rode up slightly when he lifted his arms above his head and when he swayed his hips. It was the way those hips looked, swaying, in those tight skinny jeans. 

It was all of this that made Taekwoon gulp the last bit of his drink down, set it on the counter and zero in on the attractive male that he couldn’t seem to look away from. He’d been sitting alone at the bar, his friend he’d come with initially, had already run off with someone he had found for the night. 

This had never been his type of scene, so he decidedly stuck to the bar, drink in hand, silently observing the array of people, drinking, dancing, kissing. It was rather overwhelming, the amount of touching that went on in a club like this, especially when it was far enough into the night that everyone didn’t seem to notice they were in a public space, or care for that matter.  
Taekwoon’s eyes had fallen to the male in the middle on the floor, dancing by himself, eyes closed with a blissed out look on his face as he hit the rhythm perfectly with every move and sway. Taekwoon was mesmerized and as much as he tried to focus on all the other people his eyes kept coming back to the silver haired beauty. 

He didn’t know what made him stand up and move closer. It was a compulsion. To get a closer look, to touch? He didn’t know, but he knew he couldn’t not go to this beautiful man.   
He was a few steps away. Another two and he was standing in front of him. It probably looked odd. He was in the middle of all these dancing people yet he stood completely still.   
The man had probably sensed him and his head rolled forward, eyes fluttering open and Taekwoon could see pretty, warm brown eyes regarding him. Instead of being weirded out the male smiled pleasantly, mouthing a “hi”. 

Taekwoon replied with a “hello” although he could not be heard.   
The man smiled wider now, eyes glistening as he reached up to lightly brush Taekwoon’s fringe away that had fallen into his eyes. He was taller than the male although not overly so. Similarly dressed in a low cut white top that sat loosely on him, sleeves almost covering half of his hand and black skinny jeans. He could see the male’s gaze run up and down his body, tracing his broad shoulders and long legs and Taekwoon dipped his head, blushing faintly. 

The male laughed, face lighting up and Taekwoon could just make out the word “cute” falling from his lips. He took another step closer and this time Taekwoon could take notice of the long eyelashes and the pink luscious lips, his smaller frame and even pretty collarbones peeking out from the shirt.   
The man suddenly turned, so his back was to Taekwoon, but before he could blink, in what he thought was some kind of rejection, the man was stepping back and into Taekwoon’s space, taking his hands in his own and wrapping them around his waist, urging Taekwoon to grip his hips with a squeeze.   
He lightly rolled his body back and Taekwoon gasped into his ear, grip tightening instinctively and the male let his own hands trail up Teakwoon’s arms. He rolled his head back onto Taekwoon’s shoulder, lips brushing Taekwoon’s ear as he spoke. 

“Hakyeon”  
He began to sway with the music once again, eyes closed and blissed out smile on his face. Taekwoon was stiff at first, but Hakyeon only continued to sway, his expression still pleased and finally Taekwoon relaxed some. His body moulded to the others and he let himself sway in motion with Hakyeon, hands splayed around the lithe waist. Hakyeon lifted one hand to curl into Taekwoon’s hair and Taekwoon’s breath stuttered. Hakyeon tightened his grip slightly and this time it was a gasp, Hakyeon chuckling before Taekwoon tightened his hands around Hakyeon’s waist, tugging him even closer to his body.   
Hakyeon rolled his hips back and Taekwoon let a hand slip to Hakyeon’s thigh, squeezing. Taekwoon could feel sparks of pleasure running down his spine each time Hakyeon’s body rolled against his, the air almost electric with sexual tension.

Hakyeon suddenly turned in his arms again, facing Taekwoon, looking a little flushed and so, so pretty.   
Hakyeon came in close enough so they could speak without shouting.   
Taekwoon ducked his head once again and Hakyeon immediately carded his fringe away. “You haven’t told me your name.”  
Taekwoon raised his head, surprised. He had completely forgotten. 

“Taekwoon”, he got the courage to speak.   
Hakyeon smiled again, brightly, and went to trace Taewkoon’s neck, slipping down to his shoulders.   
He took another step closer and now they were aligned. Taekwoon gulped. He could feel the heat of the other male against him.   
Hakyeon rested his hands on Taekwoon’s shoulders and raised himself so he could whisper into Taekwoon’s ear, Taekwoon’s hand automatically wrapping around the others waist now.   
“Such pretty lips”, he spoke, his own brushing against the shell of Taekwoon’s ear.   
“Taekwoon.”, Hakyeon spoke, “touch me, Taekwoon”  
He turned his head so he could skim his nose along the golden skin of Hakyeon’s cheek before Hakyeon turned his face only slightly so their lips touched in a heated kiss.////////////////////////


	8. Push and Pull

Hey guys! This one is the request of swethaTR who wanted Neo, where Hakyeon give affection and attention to Taek, but Taek pushes away and Hakyeon gives up trying. I really loved writing this and it wrote itself but its wayy longer than any of the other drabbles haha but I love writing this typical cliche Neo ones, they're so fun to write and I love writing their characters and I always feel like I can relate a lot to Hakyeon and his reactions. Anyway guys thank you so much for your support I love reading your comments and I hope you guys like reading this as much as I love writing it XD

 

“Do you think he’s ever going to come around, Wonshik?”   
“Hyung, I really don’t know.”  
“I think I should give up trying.”  
Wonshik raised his eyebrows at this. “Is that even possible? You’re the most persistent person I know.”  
“Don’t joke about this, Wonshik. And I’m serious. I think I’ve reached my end. I can’t take any more of his rejection.”  
Wonshik had nothing to say to this, so he simply took his hyung’s hand in his as a comfort and let the silence of the night surround them. 

A few weeks earlier Hakyeon would never have even thought of giving up on Taekwoon. Sure the other sometimes pushed him away, but Hakyeon understood. Sometimes he knew he was a bit much and he knew and understood when Taekwoon needed his space. This however was something different. Almost every attempt Hakyeon would make to near the younger would be met with harsh glares and more often than not he would be physically pushed away.   
Hakyeon was confused to say the least. Surely he hadn’t dreamt up all the times Taekwoon actually enjoyed and welcomed his attention, the many times he had reciprocated Hakyeon’s touches with his own gentle, possessive ones. 

They had been dear friends since the beginning, before they debuted and became known. Before all this began. Hakyeon often worried about his friend, that all this would be too much for him. Taekwoon was delicate in that regard. The constant attention and spotlight that their career now demanded of them took a toll on him and the other had confided in Hakyeon that sometimes he struggled, that sometimes it was just too much. He would lock himself away in his mind, stare blankly at the wall of his bedroom for hours, his thoughts millings around his head, doubts making the anxiety crawl up from his stomach to his throat that it felt as if he would choke.   
It was Hakyeon and Hakyeon alone that could unlock the faraway place in Taekwoon’s mind and untangle the web of thoughts. Taekwoon let him, after fighting him at first of course. But Hakyeon was persisitent if nothing else and eventually Taekwoon trusted him enough to let him in. Taekwoon had never felt so bare in front of anyone such as in those moments of vulnerability. And so they became lifelong friends. 

Hakyeon, however never counted on falling in love with his lifelong friend. He fought to keep his feelings at bay though. He knew something as silly as his overactive imagination could cost them their careers if someone got wind of it. So he swallowed his feelings down, did everything in his power for Taekwoon as a friend, but of course all the members knew and could see that Hakyeon had a soft spot for Taekwoon. And soon enough Hakyeon was close enough to the members and he felt he was able to confess his feelings to them. Not all at once. It was only Wonshik for now, although Hakyeon knew Hongbin knew as well. 

Hakyeon felt like he could live this way. After all he was still so close to Taekwoon, was still working together and sharing memories and they still had wonderful times together as friends. He could be happy for the other, be happy because Taekwoon was happy where he was in life. But now…now Hakyeon’s heart beat unsteadily at the gnawing bitter feeling in his chest, because Taekwoon was pushing him away, was outright rejecting him. It wasn’t as if Hakyeon had been acting any differently towards Taekwoon, yet the other suddenly seemed very irritated with him.   
He seemed withdrawn lately, distracted and Hakyeon, despite the treatment he was getting from the other, still had Taekwoon’s wellbeing as his main concern. That’s why he found himself in front of the others bedroom door, swallowing down his fear. This was ridiculous, he chided himself. He had no reason to be fearful. The more likely reason for Taekwoon’s behaviour was that things had become a bit much and he needed some time and space to sort out his mind. But as always, Hakyeon would be there to help and support him after Taekwoon had some time to himself and this was certainly no different. Taekwoon was probably expecting him anyway. Feeling a bit better, Hakyeon gave a quick intake of breath and knocked on the door, before turning the knob and entering. 

“Taekwoon?”  
The room was completely dark, curtains drawn and light off despite the late hour. Taekwoon wasn’t sleeping however, he was sitting on the floor next to his bed, earbuds in and staring with wide eyes at the wall in front of him.   
The scene was somewhat familiar to Hakyeon so he wasn’t alarmed by it, simply closing the door and manoeuvring his way towards the other, sinking down in front of Taekwoon. Taekwoon regarded him only briefly before his eyes closed, brow furrowing.   
This was different. Taekwoon in this state, would usually continue staring straight in front of him and only after a long time register the gentle fingers carding through his hair and the soft comforting words that Hakyeon whispered to him. Taekwoon would unfreeze then, filter back the real world and his surroundings, look at Hakyeon with recognition in his eyes and grasp Hakyeon’s hands in his own, thanking him for always being there. 

Now, Taekwoon grew only more agitated with each of Hakyeon’s touches, and finally let out a shaky breath, shoving Hakyeon’s hands off him and scooting away slightly.   
“Hakyeon, what are you doing here?”, Taekwoon asked, agitation clear in his voice.   
Hakyeon stared at the other incredulously. “What do you mean? I’m always here…you know I-”

“This isn’t like that”, Taekwoon interrupted, voice growing angry and Hakyeon felt cold, icy fear seep into his heart. Taekwoon’s fingers were clenched, knuckles white, his eyes glaring and Hakyeon had never felt so vulnerable in front of the other. Taekwoon was mad at him. For no reason at all and Hakyeon just didn’t understand. Taekwoon had never been angry at him like this, had never spoken so harshly to him.   
Hakyeon opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, choosing his words carefully. “Taekwoon, I…I don’t understand what’s going on. Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”  
Taekwoon’s face rippled in anger and he snarled, eyes flashing in anger. “It’s all about you all the time isn’t it!”, he shouted, voice so loud and un-Taekwoon like that Hakyeon flinched back, each word spat at him stinging until he finally felt his eyes water with tears. “You just do what you want, shoving yourself into everyone’s space. You suffocate me! You’re so overbearing all the time and I just can’t take it anymore. Just get out Hakyeon, get out of my room!”

The final shout that Taekwoon gave was so loud it left Hakyeon’s ears ringing, and for a moment Hakyeon was so shocked that he sat frozen on his knees. It was only when Teakwoon let out an irritated huff, that the tears that had been building up fell down Hakyeon’s cheeks and he gave a heaving breath as he registered Taekwoon’s words. There was a moment before Hakyeon stood and ran out of the room, that Taekwoon looked stricken, looked at Hakyeon’s tears that had fallen and the incredibly hurt look on his friends face, and felt the instantaneous guilt overtake him.   
But Hakyeon was already running out of the door, out of the apartment, breathing so heavily and unsteadily that he felt he might pass out as he ran down the stairs. Hakyeon heaved in huge lungful’s of air as soon as he got out into the crisp night air. It was 11 at night, the streets at the end where they lived quiet at least. Hakyeon walked over to the park, sitting on the swing, rocking backwards and forwards as the conversation, or rather the shouting at he had received from Taekwoon ran over and over in his mind. 

Hakyeon’s tears had stopped, the cold night air, biting at his wet eyes, making them sting. He was cold, confused, hurt, the pain throbbing at his chest with each beat of his heart. Taekwoon had been brutal and no matter how many times he went over the past month, two months even, he could not find something where he had done anything to make the other mad. Or maybe it had simply been a collection of little things over time. Maybe Taekwoon had simply been tolerating his behaviour all this time and he had finally blown up and had enough. 

Hakyeon sank down with the sadness that overtook him, wrapping his arms around himself as he felt the tears come again. That had to be it, wasn’t it? Taekwoon had grown sick of him. The members always like to complain that he was too touchy, too affectionate. Taekwoon joined in the banter sometimes but the smile that lingered at his lips had Hakyeon knowing that he was only joking. If he had enough…if he had hated it so much why didn’t he just say so? Why would he let Hakyeon touch and comfort him, why would he accept Hakyeon as his lifelong friend if he hated him so much?   
Hakyeon’s tears plopped down into the sand below him. It hurt so much more because it was Taekwoon saying those things to him…Taekwoon who he loved. 

“There you are.”  
The voice came from the opening of the park and Hakyeon looked up sharply only to find Taekwoon standing before him. He looked a bit distraught, hair tousled. But he looked soft as well. Warm in his familiar leather jacket.   
Hakyeon was shivering in the cold. Hakyeon rose, furiously wiping his tears away with freezing fingers.   
“Hakyeon, I-”  
“What? Have you come to shout at me some more? Didn’t have enough rocks to throw at me earlier?” The hurt was bubbling up into Hakyeon’s throat, running his mouth.   
Taekwoon looked very guilty then, stepping forward until he was close to Hakyeon, eyes lowering. Hakyeon’s first instinct was to yield, to forgive the other instantly, however the terrible words Taekwoon had shouted at him not half an hour earlier resounded in his head still too loudly. 

Taekwoon shut his eyes, breathing out harshly. Something he often did when he was frustrated with himself. “I’m so sorry Hakyeon.”, he whispered. He took a deep breath before looking up at Hakyeon. “I’m so sorry for shouting at you and saying those horrible things. I…you know I have a bit of a temper, which isn’t an excuse and no reason to treat you that way.”  
Hakyeon swallowed, arms coming to wrap around himself again. “Why did you say those things to me Taekwoon? What brought it on?”  
Taekwoon stuttered a bit, clearly struggling with his words. Hakyeon gave him time. He knew Taekwoon struggled to talk freely and speak his mind clearly.   
“I…I’ve become a bit frustrated with myself. Some news came to light and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

Hakyeon’s brow furrowed. “Taekwoonie”. Hakyeon could already feel his resolve crumbling. “Is it something serious? Why didn’t you tell me? I thought I had done something to make you mad…I, I thought you were sick of me as a friend and hated me.”  
Taekwoon looked even more stricken at these words and he hesitantly reached forward and took Hakyeon’s hands into his own. “Hakyeon, no that isn’t it at all.”  
Hakyeon just grew even more confused. “Then why take it out on me? Why did you say those specific things to me?”  
Taekwoon licked his lips. A nervous habit. “The…the news that I became aware of. Well.” Taekwoon stopped, looking nervously at Hakyeon.   
“Well?”, Hakyeon prompted softly after a while. 

“Hongbin told me something.”, Taekwoon began slowly. Hakyeon gulped, fear gripping at his chest, begging Taekwoon’s next words to not be what he was thinking. “Something about you.”  
The moment the words left Taekwoon’s mouth, Hakyeon wailed, shame, embarrassment, despair overtaking him as he ripped his hands from Taekwoon’s. “Oh, no”, Hakyeon moaned. “Oh, no, oh no.”  
He turned his face from Taekwoon. He couldn’t bare looking at the other with his secret bared. He had never in his life felt so open and raw in front of another. There was no control to his tears now, they were streaming down his face, sobs heaving out of his chest.   
“Hakyeon, wait.” Taekwoon tried to stop him, gripping onto his wrist, but in his wild despair Hakyeon was stronger, ripping away from the hold and running, running so fast and far away that Taekwoon would never find him. 

He didn’t stop crying the entire way. His secret was out, his secret was out. Taekwoon knew he loved him, his mind kept screaming at him. Taekwoon knew and reacted so violently, didn’t know how to deal with the news to such an extent that he blew up at Hakyeon, shouted at him and resented him.   
Taekwoon probably felt terribly burdened by knowing Hakyeon felt this way. Taekwoon probably felt betrayed, trusting Hakyeon with helping him through his anxiety. Hakyeon was sure Taekwoon felt that he had simply taken advantage of the situation, that he had had ulterior motives all this time. Taekwoon hated the thought of Hakyeon loving him.   
That single thought was torture to Hakyeon’s mind. He couldn’t stop crying, sobbing like a child in the middle of nowhere. With a start he realized he didn’t even know where he was. In his panic he had run to an unfamiliar part of town. He cried harder. He was lost, cold and hurt down to the core. 

How dare Hongbin tell Taekwoon about something so personal? Something Hakyeon never had wanted Taekwoon to know. Everything was ruined now. How would they even work together? People would certainly notice things would be awkward between them. The other members will know something is up. This would mean the end of his friendship to Taekwoon too.   
Hakyeon turned round in circles, trying to at least figure out where he was. He needed to find somewhere to sleep tonight at least. Gosh, he couldn’t go back to the dorm tonight, not while Taekwoon was there. Another sob threatened to tear from his chest. How would he ever go back? How would he ever face Taekwoon again?   
Hakyeon could hear the running of feet on the pavement from behind him. He froze, fearing the worst. Would he be robbed tonight as well? Hadn’t he had enough for one night?   
A large hand landed on his shoulder and Hakyeon felt a scream bubble up his throat. Nothing else happened though and all Hakyeon could hear was harsh breathing. He turned around to find Taekwoon, his hand braced on his knee as he tried to catch his breath. 

When he finally did, he spoke up. “Why do you keep on running?”  
Hakyeon’s lips wobbled as Taekwoon straightened and regarded him, the piercing gaze Taekwoon had, really too much for the other. “Taekwoon, please. I can’t listen to this. Please leave me in peace.”  
Taekwoon watched as Hakyeon started crying again. He had never seen the other look so sad. He had really fucked up. He couldn’t figure his own thoughts out so he shouts at Hakyeon? He blames him for absolute nonsense, makes the other feel terrible, and now he lets Hakyeon believe that he found out his secret and hates him for it. He really was an idiot. How did he even manage to do this?   
“Hakyeon…I, I really didn’t mean any of it, I…”

He groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. The things he wanted to say, his thoughts just couldn’t seem to form coherent words.  
He took a breath and attempted again. “I just…Hakyeon I want to-”  
Taekwoon huffed, giving a troubled look at Hakyeon, he was sniffing, shivering in the cold, eyes red rimmed from all the crying.   
Taekwoon stepped forward, grabbing the other by the shoulders, albeit gently, large hands warming the others arms at least, as he rubbed up and down the length of them. Hakyeon blinked rapidly letting a few tears cascade down his face. “Hakyeon.” 

Taekwoon took Hakyeon’s chin between his fingers, brushing droplets of tears away.   
“Hakyeon, look at me please.”   
Hakyeon blinked again before finally giving in and looking at Taekwoon. Taekwoon felt his stomach twist at the tortured look on Hakyeon’s face but he made himself relax, made himself clear his mind, made himself loose himself in what he wanted, what he had needed and longed for since he had met Hakyeon.   
Taekwoon leaned down slowly, pressing the softest of kisses to Hakyeon’s lips, the gentle press of lips startling Hakyeon so, that he stumbled back, touching his lips in surprise.   
“What?”  
Taekwoon chuckled a little, more due to nervousness, at Hakyeon severe reaction. “Are you going to run away even after I’ve kissed you?”  
Hakyeon could only blink at him, eyes still wide and shocked. Taekwoon smiled at the sight. Hakyeon just couldn’t compare to anyone else. 

“Come here.”   
Hakyeon hesitantly walked towards Taekwoon until he was finally close enough for Taekwoon to cradle his face in his hands and kiss him on the lips once more. This time Hakyeon responded, lips warming as they kissed, Hakyeon’s hands coming to grab at Taekwoon’s leather clad shoulders.   
They finally broke apart, Taekwoon breathless, lips shiny and red. “I really like you Hakyeon.”, he whispered between them, breaking out in an uncharacteristic bright smile, which turned into a breathless laugh when Hakyeon’s entire face lit up in joy, his eyes sparkling.   
Instead of replying, Hakyeon stood on his toes, and grabbed Taekwoon closer in another kiss.

 

*Also I know I didn;t really explain Teakwoon's bad reaction towards Hakyeon in the beginning but I thought you guys would draw tour own conclusions. Taek struggles to deal with situations and something this big really messes with his mind and he grew angry at himself for his feelings towards Hakyeon because he felt it was wrong of him and he knew it would never work due to their careers so naturally he tried pushing Hakyeon away but seeing Hakyeon that hurt and blowing up at him...well Taek couldn't live with that so....the ending ensued...cheesy I know lol*


	9. Silence

A request from byeolreenxx on AFF. I don't want to say what the request was beforehand though you'll just have to read and see. XD I am however not super happy with the ending but yeah.... please read and comment and tell me what you think! Thank you guys for all the kudos I really appreciate it!

 

Monday the slight suspicion started. The day before everything had been fine. Nothing seemed out of place, but when Monday morning rolled around and Hakyeon stepped into the kitchen greeting everyone brightly as he normally did and only receiving noncommittal grunts in reply, he frowned. Of course there were those members that weren’t exactly morning people. But even Jaehwan, his fellow bubbly person, was hardly looking at him. Hakyeon tentatively asked questions but he was hardly deigned with replies, instead the members made to get out of the room and left Hakyeon in the middle of the kitchen, confused and slightly miffed.  
He tolerated their behaviour. Maybe they simply all were having a bad day, coincidently on the same day.  
Tuesday, however their strange behaviour towards him continued. Hakyeon took the time to observe them. Where yesterday he had at least attempted to talk to them and provide some normalcy to the strange day, today he simply watched them carefully, barely speaking a word to them the entire day. The more he watched them, the more it became obvious that they were only acting cold towards him. The members, between the five of them, talked as if nothing was askew and Hakyeon could feel the confusion in him rise and rise until it settled uncomfortably as doubt in his stomach.  
Wednesday rolled around and with no change in their behaviour Hakyeon grew irritated and angry.  
After another frustrating day of having to practice and work with mute idiots, he finally confronted them the moment they stepped over the threshold of their home.  
They continued to state at him in silence after his heated words and when Hakyeon wanted to open his mouth and shout at them some more for their ridiculous behaviour, Sanghyuk spoke up, breaking the silence.  
“We don’t know what you’re talking about hyung. You’re imagining things.”  
Hakyeon opened and closed his mouth several times in disbelief.  
“Are you telling me I’m just imagining the fact that you all are acting extremely strange, and quite frankly rude towards me?”  
Sanghyuk was bashful enough to sigh at that, turning away from Hakyeon as he spoke. “Yes, hyung. All of us are tired, we’re going to bed.”  
Hakyeon was left standing in the middle of the room once again, mouth agape in shock at the way he was treated.  
By Thursday Hakyeon’s anger had turned bitter and ice cold. He had figured he could play at this game too. Whatever they had going on would blow over in time, he convinced himself, but that still did not justify the way he was treated, especially by their youngest. The entire day he did not address any of them directly, did not speak a single word. Hakyeon hated to admit how hard it was for him though. He was a people person, he loved to be surrounded with the people he held dear and having this impenetrable wall between them was eating Hakyeon up inside.  
Several times during the day he wanted to give in, look at them in the eyes, beg for them to talk to him and treat him like they used. He missed them. He missed their comfort, their touches, and their reassuring words. Without them the doubts…the anxiety was going to eat him alive.  
Friday brought an onslaught of sadness and growing anxiety at the pit of Hakyeon’s stomach. Hakyeon had woken up in bed, shivering from the cold. He had thrown off his blankets during the night, but more than that he was missing the warmth of one of the members lying curled up by his side. He missed waking up to sleepy kisses. The hurt bubbled up in his throat as he remembered these things and Hakyeon couldn’t stop the choked sob from escaping his lips. This hurt. His loved ones were literally ignoring him in every way possible. And he just didn’t understand. What had he done wrong? Had he said anything offensive to anyone? Usually they were so good at handling fights, they had their shouting matches but they got over it and made up. This was so different and he was wracking his brain, but he honestly had no clue. With the tears and the steady ache of loneliness, the doubts swirled around in his head.  
He had tolerated the day, keeping to himself entirely, physically avoiding the others if possible. During working hours his mind was kept somewhat busy but Friday night when he lay in his bed, the doubts rolled to the forefront of his mind.  
Had they ever truly loved him? Had Hakyeon somehow made up the last three years they had truly been together in every sense of the word. He couldn’t have imagined their many kisses, the soft whispered “I love you’s” in his ear…. But now…now Hakyeon wondered if they had all been playing him. Playing with his feelings, pranking him like they had always loved to do.  
In the beginning years there had been so many complaints regarding him. “You’re too clingy”, “You bother me too much”, “Hyung, you’re too much”. He remembered those words, they were engrained in him whether he had forgotten them and replaced them with the loving words of the past three years, they were still easily recallable. And now Hakyeon could only think that they had actually felt this way all this time. That this was all one sick joke and they were getting ready for the punchline, getting ready to tell Hakyeon that they could never love anyone as annoying as him, turn to him and laugh as they watched him, because he had believed…he had believed they loved him.  
Hakyeon gasped through the tears as he sat up from his bed. He couldn’t be here to face that. He couldn’t live through that humiliation. He needed to leave, to get out of this suffocating apartment with its icy cold silence surrounding him. It was making him crazy, making his ears ring with how quiet it was.  
Saturday morning came and Hakyeon was gone. It took them all a while to realize it, after all the aim was to avoid Hakyeon, since it got increasingly harder to keep their act up.  
“Shit”, Hongbin spoke, when they had gathered in the living room, after it was obvious that Hakyeon had left. Without his wallet and phone as well.  
“We took it too far. I’m sure he’s somewhere freaking out.”, Sanghyuk spoke pacing up and down the room.  
Taekwoon was biting his lip so hard it looked like he might bite through it any second. “Hey, we all decided on this together. Maybe we should’ve thought of another method but its too late now.”, Jaehwan said, as he stepped around Taekwoon, thumbing at his lips until the older finally let it pop out from between his teeth.  
“Let’s go find him.”, Taekwoon spoke and the others reacted immediately, pulling on clothes and shoes, Wonshik, locking the door behind them after everyone had filtered out.  
“We’ll split up. Keep your phones with you and call if you have any news.”

When by Saturday evening, Hakyeon was still missing, they grew very worried. He didn’t have his wallet with him so he couldn’t really pay for a hotel to stay in, they had contacted Hakyeon’s parents and sister and none of them had heard anything from him. They were seriously considering filing in a missing persons report, when a call from Wonshik came through.  
“I found him.”  
It was already past midnight, Sunday morning then technically when Wonshik found Hakyeon sitting on a bench. A bench and area they frequented as a group during winter, because of the Christmas-like trees around it, that, during that time of the year was decorated with sparkling lights and snow.  
Wonshik felt the relief flood through him at the sight of the dark haired boy, sitting on the bench, huddled in on himself. At least he had a warm jacket on. But it was summer now anyway and the air around them was comfortable at least.  
Wonshik turned so he was in front of the other, but the moment he caught Hakyeon’s eyes, he got a fright. They had flicked up to see who he was, but there was no recognition, no joy. Simply a dead stare, full of sadness, as if the tear tracks down his cheeks weren’t clue enough. Shit. They had fucked up big time.  
“Hyung”, Wonshik began, tentative.  
“Hakyeon, hyung, let’s go home, the others are worried about you.”  
Hakyeon only scoffed at this turning his face away.  
“Hyung please, I mean it. We all split up to look for you when you didn’t come home.”  
Hakyeon regarded the other with a strange look. He was still disbelieving. Wonshik sighed. With their behaviour this week it shouldn’t have surprised him.  
“Hyung, come home with me. The others will all be there and we’ll explain what’s been going on.”  
Hakyeon suddenly looked scared, and his eyes dipped down, but Wonshik could see the tears drip down onto his pants.  
“I don’t want to hear it. Just leave me alone. I don’t want to be there for it,”  
Wonshik didn’t know what to do anymore. He looked sideways. The place was obviously deserted at night. With another resigned sigh he stepped in front of Hakyeon. At least their place wasn’t too far away.  
Wonshik was quick to grab Hakyeon around the waist and literally hoist the other over his shoulder, immediately starting to walk. He completely ignored Hakyeon’s protests and squirming, holding on tight to make sure the other didn’t escape.  
“Hakyeon, we have some huge apologizing to do okay? Please just here us out.”  
That at least stopped the older’s whining for some time.  
“Can you at least put me down? I can walk.”  
“No, I don’t know if you’ll just run away.”  
Finally they came to the door of their apartment, Hakyeon having trudged up the stairs, with an iron grip around his wrist.  
They were all gathered in the living room, gazes snapping up and attention zeroing in on Hakyeon. It was too much. Their concerned glances after all that had happened this week. He had been alone. Ignored. Hakyeon had to fight to keep his tears at bay. He felt so estranged in his own home, around the people he was closest to. This was making him crazy. His skin itched to run from the apartment but Wonshik forcefully pressed against his shoulder making him sit on the rug in front of them. 

There was a moment of silence before Jaehwan began to sing. Hakyeon was bewildered and it took him a moment to realize he was singing Thank you for being born. Taekwoon joined in and Sanghyuk stood up to leave the room.  
He came in a moment later with a cake, candles lit and a forlorn smile on his face.  
The others were all looking at him tenderly, but Hakyeon struggled to feel anything but indignation.  
“What the fuck is this?”  
His voice sounded strangled even to himself.  
Wonshik started to speak while the other four continued to sing. It made for a pretty background to the gruff of Wonshik’s voice.  
“Hyung. You didn’t think we forgot your birthday right?” Happy birthday.”, he said first, smiling softly. Hakyeon only continued to stare in confusion.  
“We wanted to do something for your birthday. Maybe a prank like we used to do years ago to each other. We brainstormed and thought the best way of messing with you would be to act cold towards you. We knew it’d drive you crazy, but I don’t think we really thought it through. You became so hurt. Obviously. And we didn’t really think of that at all. We didn’t want to give in exactly. So we figured we’d just wait until today as we had planned. But you ran away and then I think it really clicked how bad you’d been taking it. We’re so sorry hyung, we didn’t mean to hurt you. It was stupid of us really.”  
Hakyeon was speechless. Tears were unwillingly gathering at his eyes as he struggled to find the words. “Are you fucking serious?”, his voice was thin, weak with disbelief. “I thought…”, Hakyeon struggled again to voice his insecurities. It was something he had such a hard time with years ago. He never wanted anyone to see when he was hurt. He’d hide it away, cry alone. He wanted people to see he was strong, he was the leader after all and that especially applied to the members.  
So he’d bury his feeling until he was alone, cry them out and appear the next day as if nothing was amiss. He was Hakyeon, bubbly, positive leader. He couldn’t afford to be anything else.  
But when the members and him all became closer, his doubts, his insecurities became harder to hide and with time the members learnt to dig their way through Hakyeon’s impenetrable wall. That had been the hardest thing he had ever done. Letting so many people into his life, letting them see him with all his vulnerabilities bare. He was ashamed, he was frightened. He had so many doubts whether they would still believe he was their strong leader after they had seen him so weak.  
It took a long time. Two years almost, for Hakyeon to truly be free. To let them in without any hesitation. To trust them to see him bare, stripped of his confidence. It took time for him to believe they truly loved him. They had told him many times, but still Hakyeon would hear the little nagging voice at the back of his head tell him that they were only saying that to placate him. Him and his neediness. After all they had spent so much of their time teasing him of exactly those insecurities, of his need to touch and desire to love strongly. Surely they couldn’t change their mind and suddenly love him now? But Hakyeon could see they truly did. And time and time again it became easier to believe them, to squash that voice, to feel free in their love, to relish in it without doubt.  
This week had felt like it had undone all the years’ hard work. Hakyeon was shaking with tears. The members had stopped singing. They were surrounding him on the rug, arms embraced around any part of Hakyeon they could find. Countless whispers of “We’re sorry, we love you” passed in the air between them.  
“I thought”, he managed to say through the sobs, “I thought you had stopped loving me. That you hated me. That things were back to how they were in the beginning.”  
The members immediately knew what Hakyeon meant, they had helped him through his struggles after all. Kisses followed on his skin, soft caresses. They were showing him. Convincing him.  
They didn’t stop. “We never thought it would trigger that hyung, we’re so sorry. We could never stop loving you, You’re too important to us. We love you. We love you.”  
It took almost an hour before the words truly sank in. Hakyeon had gathered enough energy to push them away.  
“You’re all fucking idiots.”  
His voice still sounded incredibly fragile, but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.  
“We’ll do all that we can to make it up to you. Today’s your day anyway. Just say what you want. All of our focus is on you.”, Taekwoon spoke and Hakyeon regarded him with careful look. “You especially, did you not have any sense you dwat.”  
Taekwoon smiled tenderly before leaning in to place a kiss on Hakyeon’s lips.  
“Anything, just say the word.”  
Hakyeon gave a sniffle, circling his arms around his knees. “You can start by making a comfortable nest here. I just want to lay down with all of you. And I want your official apologies and confessions written in letters. And cake. I want my cake.”  
“Yes, love.”, Taekwoon smiled.  
He had meant the written apology and confession of love as a joke but honestly that would be nice. A love letter from each of them. That way he couldn’t doubt their words so easily right? If it was something he could physically see and read again and again whenever he wasn’t convinced. That would be nice.  
Half an hour later the living room was bathed in soft candle light, blankets and pillows were covering the entire floor and Hakyeon was nestled comfortably, a piece of cake halfway eaten as the members sat around him, the atmosphere calm as they wrote their letters to him.  
We was still miffed. There was still a tiny ache to his chest. But as he caught the gazes of each member around him as they wrote words of love for him, he knew next time, if something like this ever happened again, he’d kick their assess instead of doubting their love.


	10. Red and purple, mix before my eyes

I feel like this is becoming less and less of a drabble works....I mean I'm writing basically 3000 per chapter.....which I think counts more as one-shots than drabbles....lol but either way I'm enjoying it. This one is a prompt from Bobbiebobbie who wanted haken with wax and flower petals..... ;) The moment I saw the prompt the wheels started turning and that's why I'm here posting so quickly again lol 

Do enjoy ;) 

 

Jaehwan was waiting for him on the bed, as he so often did. He’s taken the initiative to wrap the thick silk ribbons around his wrists, and to light a flickering red candle on the dresser.

Hakyeon smiled, eyes darkening as he took in the sight before him. He lightly put his work bag down, socked feet making no noise on the wooden floor, as he stepped into the bedroom. He loosened his tie, making a point of it to stare Jaehwan down, keep the flickering electricity between their gazes. He loosened the first three buttons of his shirt, enough to reveal a tan slither of chest. He watched Jaehwan gulp and lick his lips.

For the first time Hakyeon broke eye contact to take in the rest of the room. The curtains were drawn, but that made it a little dark for his taste. He wanted to see Jaehwan’s body writhe in pleasure on their bed after all. Hakyeon took the lighter from their dresser and lit all the candles arranged around the room.

Hakyeon, in his candle making pastime went through obsessive phases regarding colour and scent. This month it had been dark red candles, with a mocha scent to it. By the time Hakyeon had reached the opposite side of the room, nine candles had been lit and the room was starting to smell luxurious. Hakyeon looked back over to Jaehwan and was pleased to note the other had kept his eyes on him. He stepped to the end of the bed and regarded the other with a tilt of his head.

Hakyeon leaned forward, bracing his weight with a knee on the edge of the mattress, as he brought himself close to Jaehwan who sat perfectly still in the middle of the bed. He made sure he was close enough that Jaehwan could feel the heat from his body, could feel the breath from his lips.

“Wait one moment.”

And then he had moved away completely, stepping out of the bedroom and having to supress a chuckle at the soft whine that came from the other.

He was back not long after, purple rose petals gathered in his hand and Jaehwan watched with bated breath as Hakyeon scattered it around him on the bed.

He climbed onto the bed then, crawling over the other and Jaehwan’s chest rose and fell as he scrambled to lay on his back, eyes closing slightly at the soft sensation of the petals on his skin.

“You look delectable”, Hakyeon whispered, lips skimming down the other’s pale neck.

Jaehwan whined at the words and this time Hakyeon didn’t even attempt to hide his smile. Jaehwan was such a vocal person. It hard for him to supress his sounds. But Hakyeon preferred it that way anyway. What is better than hearing the pleasure fall from your lover’s mouth? He wanted to hear it all.

“You’re so pretty.”, Hakyeon spoke as he trailed kisses down Jaehwan’s chest, feeling the steady expansion and relaxation of the muscles ripple beneath his lips. He sucked a mark into the dip of his hip, feeling Jaehwan lock his legs around him. His eyes darted down to his erection already leaking. Against the stark navy blue of his trousers though and Hakyeon sighed but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He often found beauty in strange and unique ways.

Like now. He pulled back, drinking in how flushed Jaehwan was already, from just a few kisses and soft spoken words. But he knew this is what did it for Jaehwan, what turned him on so incredibly fast. He reacted towards sensual scents, sensations, words and sights. The soft glow of the room, the silky touch of the ribbons and petals on his skin, the fleeting touches Hakyeon left on his body. It all made him dizzy with lust.

“Jaehwan”

“Jaehwan, look at me.” Hakyeon’s words were soft and Jaehwan’s eyes fluttered open.

Hakyeon leaned down to kiss him on the lips. Their first proper kiss of the night and although it was short, it was filled with passion, longing from the long hours of the day spent apart from each other.

“Hey”, Hakyeon grinned, cupping the other’s face in his hand. Jaehwan couldn’t help the giddy feeling in chest at the sight. Hakyeon looked properly lovestruck.

“Hey”, he said back.

Hakyeon kissed him again, slow, before taking both Jaehwan’s arms upwards, towards the headboard.

He kissed the veins that trailed along the toned arms, nuzzling against Jaehwan’s wrist. “I’m going to tie you now.”

He always told Jaehwan what he was going to do and he loved when Jaehwan responded.

“Yes.”, he said in reply, slightly breathless.

Hakyeon took his wrists and tied it with the silk ribbon to the bed. It, once again, made for a pretty picture, made the other arch slightly.

Hakyeon bit him lightly on his bicep and felt the other buck up into him.

“My pretty Jaehwan.”

The younger was looking at him so attentively, eyes dark, but sparkling still in the candlelight.

Hakyeon splayed his hands on the other’s chest and ran them down his body, watching Jaehwan gasp from the sensation. He continued down, sliding along the smooth skin of his thighs, and fuck but did Hakyeon love his thighs, and finally down his calves, coming to a rest on his ankles. He tugged slightly and grinned at the sharp intake of breath that garnered.

Hakyeon stepped off the bed and Jaehwan turned his head to watch him carefully as he took one of the candles and placed it close them on the bedside table.

Jaehwan had wanted this. Otherwise he wouldn’t have lit that one candle in the first place.

“I’m going to blindfold you.”, Hakyeon said next and Jaehwan nodded, before breathing out another “yes”

Hakyeon slipped another silk ribbon around Jaehwan’s head, effectively denying him of his sight. Of course that only heightened his other senses.

Hakyeon sighed at the sight below him. He sometimes wished he were an artist, able to capture the beauty of a person just as if they were before your eyes.

The silk navy against Jaehwan’s skin was especially pretty and when Hakyeon scooped some petals into his hand and draped them over Jaehwan’s body, he smiled.

“Perfect.”

Jaehwan hummed, sliding his legs across the soft sheets. Hakyeon stilled them before climbing onto Jaehwan’s lap, making sure to grind back slowly. He stilled once more then, the room silent except for Jaehwan’s ragged breaths.

“I’m going to start now.”

“Yes.”

 

Jaehwan held still, straining his ears, listening for any sound. He couldn’t see, and momentarily couldn’t hear anything of importance. He could feel though. And it was with stark clarity that he could feel the luxurious material of Hakyeon’s trousers against his skin. He could feel Hakyeon’s ass push back against his erection, sensation light but still pleasurable. He could feel Hakyeon’s warm palm, splayed along his ribcage, thumb soothing over the skin every now and then. He could feel the silky texture of the flower petals Hakyeon had scattered on and around him and the equally smooth texture of the ribbons around his wrists. He could feel it all, even being bound and without the freedom to touch.

Hakyeon was making him wait, drawing the moment out, making him anticipate the moment the stinging hot pain would hit his skin. Jaehwan could feel his own breathing become ragged, could hear his own breaths loud in the room, whereas Hakyeon’s was practically silent.

Jaehwan arched from the bed, gasping the moment the hot wax touched his skin. There was a burning trail steadily running down his chest, before it stopped just past his navel. Jaehwan breathed harshly. It hurt. But in a good kind of way. The moment the wax cooled and hardened on his skin, the pain faded, the afterburn pleasurable in its own right.

Hakyeon leaned down, Jaehwan could feel the heat radiate from him and he leaned over his chest and proceeded to lick soothingly next to the trail of wax, sucking the skin where the wax ended.

Jaehwan whined, bucking up again, properly leaking from arousal and Hakyeon tightened his thighs around Jaehwan’s hips.

Jaehwan was given a moment to relax then before Hakyeon slid down his legs and Jaehwan couldn’t feel the other against him anymore nor feel the weight of him on the mattress. He must have stood up and off the bed. Jaehwan wiggled around, feeling the hardened wax tug and pull at his skin, breaking of in little pieces. He could also feel the shift on the petals against his skin. Hakyeon must have poured the wax directly on top of them, effectively sticking them against his skin.

Jaehwan was still thinking about the purple petals stuck to his skin when another trail of wax was dripped over his right hip, down his thigh, right next to his dick and he could feel it twitch at the pleasurable pain, another whine escaping his lips. Hakyeon’s lips came to soothe almost immediately, sucking bruises into the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, lips trailing almost, almost, teasing just far enough away from where he’d love to have them.

Almost the moment Hakyeon lifted his lips from Jaehwan’s skin, came the third wax trail, this time from his knee, down his calf and finally stopping at his ankle. Hakyeon repeated his actions, giving a bite to Jaehwan’s calf.

Jaehwan could recognise that the other was getting impatient and he smiled. There came a teasing slap to Jaehwan’s thigh and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you smiling at?”, Hakyeon asked and Jaehwan could just about imagine the expression on his face. Eyes narrowed, lips pursed, too cute for his own good.

“I know this is turning you on too.”, Jaehwan grinned.

Hakyeon harrumphed, crawling closer to the other again. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be snarky.”, Hakyeon spoke, whilst circling his fingers against Jaehwan’s puckered hole. Jaehwan gasped but remained silent.

“Good boy.”

Jaehwan’s heart stuttered. At the words and the feeling of Hakyeon pushing open his legs and trailing his fingers along his inside thigh.

 

Not five minutes later Jaehwan was gasping, plush lips parted lewdly, as Hakyeon fucked him with sharp thrusts of his fingers, curling them upwards and making Jaehwan arch from the bed. Hakyeon was giving wet licks to the underside of his dick too and soon it became too much for Jaehwan. He was leaking steadily and he felt each jolt of Hakyeon’s fingers against his prostate like a sharp trill of electricity down his spine.

“Hakyeon, Hakyeon.”, Jaehwan gasped, like a mantra falling from his lips. “Hakyeon, I’m going to come.”

Hakyeon’s fingers didn’t relent, but he raised himself up, snaking a hand along Jaehwan’s waist, placing his mouth over Jaehwan’s nipple and sucking. “Do you want to come?”

“Yes, please, can I?”, Jaehwan pleaded, legs jerking with the jolts of arousal he felt.

Hakyeon bit at the nipple, soothing it with his tongue and grinning as he moved up, so he was draped over Jaehwan’s body, fingers still pumping inside of him.

“No.”, he growled in the younger’s ear, nipping at his earlobe.

Hakyeon released his fingers, using the slick there to slide his fingers over Jaehwan’s dick once, before moving away and off the bed.

Jaehwan was whining again. Whether at the denial of orgasm or the lack of touch, Hakyeon wasn’t sure. Probably both. But he wouldn’t have to wait long now.

Jaehwan strained his ears at the sound of Hakyeon’s belt buckle loosening. The sound sent a jolt straight to his dick, excitement at what was to come. The sound of the belt sliding from the loops, the sound of the zipper releasing, the sound of the material falling down Hakyeon’s legs and to the floor. All of it made Jaehwan swallow hard and lick his lips in anticipation.

Jaehwan felt naked skin against his and he moaned straight at the feeling of it, the short absence of touch and the fact that he couldn’t even reach out and touch Hakyeon getting to him now. He could perfectly imagine the sight though, it was something he had committed to memory, marvelled at many times when they rolled around in bed together.

Hakyeon was glorious. Tan skin, smooth and unending. It made Jaehwan’s mouth water, wanting to taste, to kiss. Hakyeon’s eyes were the best though. The way they sparked, the mischievous glint in them when he climbed over Jaehwan, the way he handled him, the commanding words he spoke, screamed dominance, and Jaehwan loved it.

Jaehwan could feel it now, the smooth skin of Hakyeon’s legs coming to bracket his hips. Jaehwan could hear slick sounds in the air, soft panting and he whined, high in his throat, when he realised Hakyeon was touching himself.

“You look so pretty Jaehwan, covered in wax, tied up for me to take however I want.”, Hakyeon spoke, slightly breathless from held in pleasure. He was sliding his fist over his own cock, slick with lube, at the sight of Jaehwan laid out like a meal before him. The words were getting to Jaehwan, the younger pushing his face to the side, panting into his own arm, fingers clenching into a fist.

“pretty petals stuck to your pale skin. Its looks obscene next to your dripping cock.”, Hakyeon bit out, slowing his hand on himself. Jaehwan moaned at the other’s voice and Hakyeon took a flower petal between his fingers, dragging the velvet petal up Jaehwan’s cock and sliding it over the slick, reddened tip.

He left it there as he gathered Jaehwan’s legs around him, positioning himself and relishing in Jaehwan’s moans reaching his ears. He gave a sharp slap to Jaehwan’s thigh and the other finally stilled, biting his lip to keep silent. He gave a sharp thrust then sliding smoothly into Jaehwan and closing his eyes to the music of Jaehwan’s groan, the feeling of Jaehwan sinking him in deeper, clenching around him and drawing him closer.

Jaehwan was panting when Hakyeon opened his eyes to take in the sight.

Sometimes Hakyeon couldn’t believe the man in front of him was all his.

He gripped Jaehwan’s hips tight, before thrusting forward with vigour, watching Jaehwan’s muscles strain beneath him. The rough movements of each thrust, caused the blindfold to slide off and by the time it was hallway over the other’s head, Hakyeon had mercy, chuckling as he leaned forward to slide it off all the way. Jaehwan blinked, but smiled brightly as the other’s face came into view.

They kissed, Hakyeon slowing the movement of his hips, rolling now instead of thrusting.

“I love you”, Hakyeon whispered quickly between their lips and Jaehwan grinned, kissing back softly. “I love you too”

Hakyeon rose slightly running his palms over Jaehwan’s arms. “Are they okay? You’re not hurting?”

“No, I’m good. Keep going.”

Hakyeon grinned, renewing his thrusts, hitching Jaehwan’s legs up around his waist and the other immediately threw his head back in pleasure. Hakyeon watched the long line of his throat, the bob of his adams-apple and couldn’t resist leaning over and sucking marks into the skin there. The closeness brought some friction to Jaehwan’s cock and each rough thrust into him caused his dick to slide against the skin of Hakyeon’s stomach.

Hakyeon was grunting into his ear, hips slapping loud, the tension coiling in their bodies and climbing higher, higher until Jaehwan was arching off the bed with a shout, come splattering across their stomach’s over the purple petals still scattered over his skin.

Hakyeon was gasping, whimpering breaths leaving him as he chased his orgasm, thrusts lost to rhythm, becoming erratic around the clenching heat of Jaehwan’s body until he finally raised up with a gasp, nails raking down Jaehwan’s torso, head falling back between his own shoulders, sweat dripping down his neck.

Hakyeon’s head lolled forward, fringe falling into his eyes, damp with sweat. Jaehwan watched him, their eyes locking heat coiling even in the aftermath.

“Fuck”, Hakyeon finally spoke, snapping forward to capture Jaehwan’s lips in a bruised kiss. Hakyeon was cradling the younger’s face in his hands and Jaehwan was whining between their lips.

“Hakyeon, please.” He tugged on the silk constraints, making his plea clear.

Hakyeon immediately loosened the knots and rubbed firmly up and down Jaehwan’s arms to restore some blood flow.

Jaehwan’s brought his arms around Hakyeon’s waist, tugging him close for a hug. Hakyeon hummed, cradling the other close and drawing patterns on Jaehwan’s back and neck.

Some of the loose petals were around them on the mattress and Jaehwan scattered them repeatedly over Hakyeon’s back.

“That feels nice.”, he murmured, nuzzling into Jaehwan’s neck.

Jaehwan shifted his legs and felt something sharp dig into the skin of his thigh. “Ow.”

They both looked down to see little pieces of hard wax pretty much everywhere, picking and peeling off Jaehwan’s skin. Hakyeon gave a happy sigh, patting Jaehwan’s ass.

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”

Jaehwan lied back down for Hakyeon to pull out of him and the sensation almost had him groaning, instead he bit his lip, watching Hakyeon.

“Don’t give me that look.”, Hakyeon spoke, narrowing his eyes playfully. “Or else I’ll have to tie you up again.”

Jaehwan winked coyly and Hakyeon couldn’t help but laugh.

 


	11. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Hello guys! First off I want to address the trigger warning. its there for a reason there really is potentially triggery stuff however I don't want to say what exactly as that will spoil it but none the less proceed with caution. I took quite a while to get this one going because I didn't know how to end it but this is a request from cathiann I won't say what the request was though hahah Anyway enjoy guys! 

 

Hakyeon was practically beaming as he walked hand in hand with Taekwoon into their new apartment. He had so much to be happy for. He and Taekwoon were engaged to be married in five months and were finally moving into their new home, to start their lives together.

Hakyeon turned to the other, face ready to split apart with how wide he was smiling. Taekwoon chuckled, but swept down to place an adoring kiss to Hakyeon’s lips.

Hakyeon squealed and pressed Taekwoon into a hug. “Are you happy?”, he sighed, looking up at Taekwoon, even though he couldn’t really see the other’s face with how his own was smushed into Taekwoon’s chest.

Taekwoon smiled, the look on his face one of pure love. “Yes, darling, I’m incredibly happy.”

Hakyeon’s smile got impossibly brighter.

Taekwoon had taken a couple of days off from work to help Hakyeon settle everything into their new home. He was a doctor and Hakyeon often thought by himself how well his occupation fit with his personality. He was so caring. In everything that he did.

They were finishing up the bedroom, Hakyeon becoming frustrated with the decorating. Nothing seemed to fit like he wanted it to.

“Relax baby, we still have lots of time to get it exactly like we want it. And we can always change it again.”

“I know”, Hakyeon whined turning into Taekwoon’s arms behind him, and tilting his head upwards to regard the soft eyes peering down at him.

“How about we do something else?” Taekwoon asked, eyes innocent, but there was a lilt to his voice that made Hakyeon grin.

He rolled his eyes in response, albeit fondly and started to unbutton Taekwoon’s shirt, the other grinning in response and gripping onto Hakyeon’s hips, bringing him closer.

Taekwoon’s eyes darkened and Hakyeon shivered in response. They haven’t been together like this before. They had decided take things slow, had been building up to this and now they were getting married anyway. It was a spoken agreement that once they moved in they would finally be together in every sense of the word.

It didn’t, however, go anything like Hakyeon had planned it.

Taekwoons grip turned bruising, smile crooked, eyes beyond recognition even when Hakyeon cried out in pain and pleaded with the other to stop, to be a little gentler.

Taekwoon was completely unresponsive, the only sounds coming from his mouth, grunts of effort as he pushed into Hakyeon. He didn’t notice the tears, running down the other’s cheek, nor the pained, pleading look on the older’s face.

When he was done, he fell onto the bed, rolling off of Hakyeon and falling asleep.

Hakyeon laid awake the entire night, terrified, hurt, disbelieving of what had just happened. He sat up straight by the time the morning light filtered in, simply staring at Taekwoon’s sleeping form. There were bruises blooming on his skin where Taekwoon had gripped him impossibly hard on both his hips and his wrists, rough nail and bite marks on his back and neck. But worst of all. Hakyeon felt like he didn’t know the person lying next to him in bed, he didn’t know what Taekwoon would do to him next. Had their entire relationship been a ploy to get him to this point? Get him to trust him and move in with him only to finally show his true colours?

Hakyeon watched with bated breath as Taekwoon finally shifted around, waking from his slumber. He could only watch with wide eyes as Taekwoon shifted around and gave him a sleepy smile, whispering good morning. He didn’t want to bring it up, nor show Taekwoon his bruises in fear of it triggering whatever it was that overtook the other the previous night. So Hakyeon kept his mouth shut and the marks on his body covered.

Taekwoon seemed like he was back to his old self, as if that night had never happened, as if he had no recollection of manhandling Hakyeon, of Hakyeon pleading for Taekwoon to stop.

It unnerved Hakyeon greatly, but what could he do? He was too afraid to bring it up and with Taekwoon being back to his old self completely it was hard to even imagine that it had ever happened. Sometimes Hakyeon wondered if he hadn’t just conjured it up somehow, because how could his loving, caring fiancé that stared at him as if he was his entire world, do something like that to him?

However what was slowly starting to slip away from Hakyeon, came back like a vicious nightmare when Taekwoon kissed down Hakyeon’s neck one night in bed. Hakyeon knew what the other wanted. He had pointedly avoided intimate situations with his fiancé, but he of course knew it couldn’t last.

He could feel himself get choked up already, fear coursing through him. It seemed as though Taekwoon was still himself and the other could feel how tense he had gotten.

“Hakyeon, are you okay, what’s wrong?”

Taekwoon had slowed his kissing, watching Hakyeon with worried eyes. Hakyeon hesitated, part of him wanting to bring it up so bad while the other was scared that if he mentioned it, Taekwoon would regress and probably hurt Hakyeon for bringing it up in the first place.

He tried to calm himself and gave Taekwoon a shaky smile. “I’m just tired. Uhm, would you mind I we just take it slow tonight? Gentle…I mean.”

Taekwoon frowned. He continued to look at Hakyeon, worried. He’d known the other long enough to tell when something was truly wrong. But he also knew Hakyeon would tell him when he was ready.

“Of course darling. Let me help you unwind.”

It was everything he hoped their first time would be. Taekwoon was caring and gentle, his real self and although Hakyeon was scared at first, when it became clear Taekwoon would not regress, he relaxed, let himself feel the pleasure and relish in the love between them.

When they were sweaty and panting, the air between them humid with their breaths and Taekwoon’s smile was open and vulnerable as he gazed at Hakyeon, Hakyeon couldn’t help but let the dam walls break, let the trauma from their first time come in crashing waves of emotion.

He cried, letting Taekwoon hold him, rock him until he was able to talk and everything spilled out then. He told Taekwoon exactly what had happened, pointed out the faint scars and last of the blossoming bruises on his skin as evidence.

Taekwoon sat back in shock. He was silent for a long time, before he looked back at Hakyeon with scared, guarded eyes. “I was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder when I was young.”, he began, eyes too frightened to even look at Hakyeon and his reaction. “I was put on medication and eventually with the right treatment I was fine. I…Hakyeon, I haven’t regressed in years. I don’t understand why it’s happening now…like this.” He swept a reverent hand over the fading bruises on Hakyeon’s wrist. “I’m taking my meds, I feel fine, not on edge like I used to feel when that had happened.”

“Taekwoon why didn’t you tell me?”, Hakyeon placed a hand on his cheek, warm and encouraging.

“It hasn’t happened in years, long before I met you, so I just figured it wasn’t necessary.”

Hakyeon looked thoughtful, linking their hands together. “At least I understand now, I know what happened. But Taekwoon…what should I do if it happens again? Is there something specific that can help you get back to yourself?”

“I’m so scared of hurting you again.”, Taekwoon whispered. “What if I hurt you really bad Hakyeon? Look at what I did to you already. I…Hakyeon I practically raped you.”, he spoke, shameful as he ripped his hand from Hakyeon’s.

The older bit his lip, fighting the keep the emotions at bay as the memories from that night flooded in. Yes, it had felt like that. However he took his hand to cradle Taekwoon’s again.

“Taekwoon, you hurt me in that moment yes. But I think somewhere deep down you were still there and you knew and you knew you loved me and that you wouldn’t hurt hurt me you know.”

“How can you know that Hakyeon?” Taekwoon’s voice was bitter.

“I trust you. I love you. That’s all that matters. And I have faith in you okay?”

Taekwoon gave him a long, weary look before his eyes fluttered closed and Hakyeon could see the shimmering tears brim to the surface of his eyelashes. “Please.” He spoke the word softly and Hakyeon had a feeling it wasn’t directed at him. More like a prayer, a prayer that he wouldn’t hurt his loved one.

Hakyeon felt himself being roused awake, something uncomfortable at the pit of his stomach, the inexplicable feeling of being watched making him flutter open his eyes. Taekwoon was hovering over him, hands placed on either side of Hakyeon’s face, boxing him in. Hakyeon got a terrible fright, breath whooshing into his chest in a silent gasp and he tried vehemently to wriggle out of Taekwoon’s reach. Taekwoon rested back onto his thighs, grabbing Hakyeon’s wrists and holding them together, grinding the bones together.

“Taekwoon, you’re hurting me.”, Hakyeon pleaded, however he knew from the unrecognisable look in the other’s eyes, he had regressed, most likely because of all their talking regarding the topic.

“I’m not Taekwoon.” The voice was rougher, not completely Taekwoon’s and Hakyeon was surprised to hear it anyway, because for all the begging he had done last time, the other hadn’t spoken a single word to him.

Hakyeon stopped wriggling, fighting back the fear to look at the other, directly in his eyes. He tried to look calm, to gaze at the other with care instead of fear.

“Who are you?”

“I don’t know.”, he whispered.

His other hand came to grab at Hakyeon’s hair, pulling harshly, baring the other’s neck. He swooped in quickly before Hakyeon could react and bit down, hard on the other’s neck. “Ah!”, Hakyeon exclaimed in pain, trying to arch away.

“Taekwoon, please.”

“Shut up!”, he shouted, grabbing onto Hakyeon’s neck and cutting off his oxygen supply. The flood of panic was inescapable and tears fell over Hakyeon temples as he tried to gasp for breath beyond the tight hand wrapped around his throat.

He was released then, and when he had caught his breath enough Hakyeon spared a glance at the other. The younger was looking at him, with a guilty? Shy? expression almost.

He didn’t say anything, just kept looking at him. Hakyeon still felt too breathless to say anything, afraid as well that as soon as he spoke, the hostility would return. Instead he observed the other.

He had wild eyes, his posture tensed, the air around him somehow different to Taekwoon’s. He realised the other wanted to mark him whether with bruises or bites, he acted possessively.

Hakyeon, very slowly and carefully, wriggled a hand free, surprised when the other let him. Excruciating slowly he traced his fingers up the skin of the other’s forearm, up until he could cup his cheek. The younger immediately reach out to grab onto his wrist, hard and bruising as usual, but strangely enough he kept it there, pressing Hakyeon’s palm closer, nuzzling into the touch.

He was possessive, yet starved of affection Hakyeon realised as he became bolder with more touches. He remained rough however, but this time Hakyeon felt the fear receding. He would hardly speak, but when he did, it was possessive with words as well.

“You’re mine”, he whispered, gruff into Hakyeon’s ear as he fucked into him.

“I’m yours.”, Hakyeon mirrored and he could clearly see how pleased it made the other when he gave himself up willingly in both words and actions. This…person… wanted him, loved him in his own twisted kind of way, wanted to hurt him because he loved him, because he was scared he’d loose Hakyeon and he couldn’t let that happen. So he would keep Hakyeon for himself, tie him to the bed, ravish and hurt him in ways Hakyeon no longer found scary, instead Hakyeon found he had fallen in love with this part of Taekwoon too. He was in love with both of them equally.

Taekwoon would always resurface, barely remember what the other part of him had done, but he’d see Hakyeon, bruised, tied to the bedframe, he begged for forgiveness but Hakyeon only kissed him, telling him over and over again it was okay, he didn’t mind as long as Taekwoon was there on the other side too to take care of him, to press gentle kisses to his bruises, to wash off the blood from the bites and scratches as they showered together, to make love to him slowly and carefully as if he would break like glass.

He loved to be treated both ways. And it became part of his life. Sometimes when he came home it was to the gentle kisses of Taekwoon in his apron making dinner for them both and sometimes the moment he stepped through the door, he would be shoved against it.

Tonight however it was Taekwoon, coming in drenched from the rain on his way back from work. Hakyeon had worried about that at first, getting back to their working lives with this going on, but somehow it was only around Hakyeon that Taekwoon ever felt comfortable enough to regress, to be his other self.

Hakyeon chuckled fondly as he towelled Taekwoon’s hair, the other unbuttoning his soaking wet shirt. Taekwoon’s nails dug sharply into his skin and Hakyeon gasped as he looked up to find dark, wild eyes regarding him. He smiled, going onto his tiptoes to kiss the other. The passage between each personality had become something natural to them both.

“Hello”, Hakyeon whispered.

“I missed you.”, the younger growled into his ear, biting onto Hakyeon’s neck. Hakyeon welcomed it, relished in it afterwards as he stood in front of the mirror running reverent fingers over the mark, feeling warmth pool in his stomach at being marked by his lover.

He came up behind him, naked skin covering Hakyeon’s as he wrapped his arms around the older.

“Mine.”, he whispered ever possessive into Hakyeon’s ear. “You’re all mine.”

Hakyeon looked up at the other behind him. “Do you love me?”, he whispered between their lips.

“Yes, I love you so much Hakyeon.”, he spoke, gripping the other impossibly close, wanting to meld them together, the possessive grip in him, to have this man in front of him, so strong and overwhelming.

“Then I am yours.”, Hakyeon whispered in reply, “All of yours, every part of you, forever.”

He tipped his head forward and let himself be kissed breathless.


	12. Enamoured

hello! I have a drabble here that was requested by Vixx_binnie. The request was for rich ceo/playboy Wonshik and kind, caring Hongbin in a arranged marriage au XD I hope you guys like it and thank you so much for all the kudos and comments I have recieved I really appreciate it. And remember you can leave requests for me here or on AFF. 

 

They had no emotional connection, Hongbin knew that, but it still stung a little each time Wonshik made a point of it to take off his ring before he stepped out of door only to return in the early morning hours. Oftentimes Hongbin would still be lying awake, only able to fall asleep once he heard the sheets rustle beside him.

It was stupid of him. It’s not like he had an attachment to the other, but they were married and were living together and would be living together…well forever? Until Wonshik got sick of him and his parents were possibly out of the picture to not refuse a divorce?

Hongbin groaned turning around in the empty, cold bed again. He couldn’t help but worry. Worry about the other, if he was safe wherever he went at night, worry about what exactly he did. Hongbin was under no illusions, he was definitely sleeping around. He wouldn’t take off his ring in the first place if he wasn’t worried that it would send the wrong message. He was a 100% probably sleeping with some sleezy girl who fell over her own two feet at the look of his expensive clothing and jewelry, they all did. It was hard not to notice it anyway, it was as if Wosnhik was dripping in money.

Hongbin sometimes felt ashamed, living in this fancy place, being bought designer clothes by his in-laws. It made him feel uncomfortable, like his skin was crawling. But he was now a Kim and he had to uphold their status. He just wasn’t used to this. He certainly wasn’t brought up that way.

He sighed as he thought of the look on his parent’s faces when he gave in, agreed to this fucked up of a situation. His parent’s business were failing, they needed backers. Wonshik’s and his father business were looking for small companies to invest in. Not for the money, for the publicity. They also were desperately looking for someone to tie Wonshik down with so he could stop playing around with all the women in town and creating rumour after rumour. One measly scandal could after all ruin their family business. And so when Mr and Mrs. Kim saw Hongbin, a kind, presentable boy, from a lower class than them, they were delighted to know he was available. They approached Hongibn’s parents about it first and Hongbin had the fun of dealing with his parent’s guilt trip. He had a choice. He could’ve said no, but what would that have made him? Kim’s parent’s had set an ultimatum. They would invest only if Hongbin agreed to marry Wonshik and put an ease to their worried hearts. Because if sweet, innocent looking Hongbin was married to Wonshik all those nasty rumours and those still to come could only be lies.

He would’ve been one shitty son if he had said no. And so he found himself here. Five months after their very flashy and very public wedding. It appears at the end of the day that Wonshik’s parents had simply not given him a choice. He wondered if Wonshik’s parents would be disappointed in him…after all they had hoped Wonshik would stop sleeping around and well…sleep with him. It probably wouldn’t be long before rumours of “Wonshik, the cheating husband” floated around the magazines. And now he was part of this too. It could affect him, his career, his life.

Obviously Wonshik couldn’t give a shit. He hardly spoke three words to him every day and only spared the occasional cold glance. Hongbin had tried in the beginning, he truly did. He never expected them to become lovers, to actually fall in love but still if they would be living together they might as well try to get along. But Hongbin’s efforts had been a waste. Wonshik continued to be awkward and stilted around him, would never initiate any conversation and well, just seemed to avoid spending any time with Hongbin.

 

Wonshik stumbled through the door of their apartment at 2:20am, he was drunk undoubtedly so, but at least was capable of standing on his own two feet. His thoughts were this mingling swirl of stark clarity and soft fuzz. He closed the door and leaned against the hallway wall, staring at the little decorative bowl he had dropped his wedding ring in before he had left earlier that evening.

He felt guilt settle in his stomach, not a great combination when he was already feeling slightly queasy. He seemed to feel a lot of guilt these days. Every time he went out, when he slid off that ring and found himself in a bar with a girl hanging off his shoulder, he couldn’t help but be flooded with the image of Hongbin’s face. His genuine, kind eyes and shy smile. The way he had blinked up at Wonshik on their wedding day, exchanging his vows in that low sweet voice of his.

Wonshik felt shit. Hongbin had been warped up in this whole situation and Wonshik certainly wasn’t making anything more pleasant. But he found it hard to talk to the other, he was just awkward that way. They both knew this whole thing was so forced, he didn’t really think Hongbin wanted anything to do with him, but instead the younger had tried really hard at getting closer to him, had been sweet and caring and Wonshik’s brain just settled into permanent brain freeze when he was around the other. He had always liked women, loved them really and he was definitely not ready to settle down. But now…having someone waiting at home for him, that someone being Hongbin…Hongbin that he against all odds found cute yet handsome and so endearing.

It fucked with his brain. And that’s why he went out every single night. He would seek out women just to try and right his thoughts, would try and spend as much time away from the other, because….well…being someone other than who he has been for his entire life, becoming this changed…and domestic…that just freaked him out.

It had been going on for weeks though and if he was being honest with himself (which the alcohol was making very easy, unfortunately) he still felt the same every time Hongbin filled his vision and the guilty feeling each evening he took off his ring only became worse. He knows Hongbin sees it, and the other can probably only guess that he’s sleeping around with other women each night, while he’s leaving Hongbin here night after night, how crappy doesn’t that make him feel about himself?

Wonshik groaned, banging his head against the wall lightly. And for the majority of the time and literally every night for the past four weeks now, Wonshik hadn’t actually been looking for girls. Instead he sat night after night at a bar, swirling his drinks around in his glass and milling over his own thoughts. He’d wave girls off if they tried to approach him, his mind just too occupied with his husband sitting at home, waiting for him.

Maybe it was time he wasn’t such a shitty husband. He could try at least, try like Hongbin had done in the beginning. They could maybe even become friends and make this whole thing easier.

When Wonshik was showered and dressed, trying to be as quiet as possible as he climbed between the sheets of the bed, he took a long time to stare at the back of Hongbin’s sleeping figure. He wondered what the other thought of him. He was scared though. Of himself and his own feelings. What would happen if they grew closer?

 

“Good morning.”, he greeted as Hongbin walked into the kitchen the following morning. Wonshik was already showered and dressed, ready for work, waiting simply by the kitchen isle for his coffee to brew and for the other to walk in. He had woken up with a resolve to try and mend things between him and Hongbin. Hongbin on the other hand looked like he had just woken up, hair dishevelled and pyjamas wrinkled. He had most likely not expected the other to still be home.

“I made you some coffee too. I know you don’t really eat breakfast otherwise I might have attempted to make you something, but well maybe that was for the better too because I would probably have burnt it. I’m not a great cook even though I’ve lived on my own for so many years.”

He was rambling, and Hongbin was literally staring at him open mouthed, looking quite stricken with the turn of events.

It had to be more than a minute that had passed in silence before Wonshik awkwardly cleared his throat, sipping on his coffee that was finally ready. The sound seemed to shake Hongbin from his stupour. “Uhm, thank you?”

It came out like more of a question than actual words of thanks and Wonshik hid his smile behind another sip of his coffee. He had caught Hongbin off guard.

“Well, I’m off to work”, he spoke, grabbing his bag, chipper, as he stepped around the other.

“You’ll be home the same time as usual right?”

Hongbin nodded numbly.

“Good, be ready for me. I’m taking you out tonight.”

 

“Can I…Can I ask what brought on this change?”, Hongbin asked hesitantly. He was still flabbergasted in general by simply the notion that Wonshik was talking to him, let alone taking him out on expensive dinners for which he felt much too underdressed.

Some of the confidence seemed to dissipate with the question, his easy smile slipping off. He placed the glass filled with the deep, red wine back on the table, straightening in his seat as he regarded the other.

“Honestly”, he began, “I think in the beginning I tried to deny this whole thing, tried to ignore you, ignore being married to you. At work it was easy, but when I got home I was struck with it, and it really upset me that my whole life had been thrown on its head, you know. Which I realized was very selfish of me, because you’re in the exact same position, you agreed to this for the sake of your family, not because you wanted to. Instead of supporting you, trying to relate and find comfort I just thought of myself really. And I’ve been like that my entire life, but there’s something about knowing that when I get home every night and that you’re there waiting for me that makes me not want to be selfish anymore. I don’t want to live my life like that anymore.”

Hongbin blinked, taken aback with the confession. A light blush painted his cheekbones. He didn’t know how to respond. “Wow. I…I don’t know what to say.”

Wonshik smiled again, looking a little flustered himself at his own words. “You don’t have to say anything. You being here is enough.” He grinned at how his words only seemed to fluster Hongbin some more.

 

That night something changed between them. They walked home, hand in hand, enjoying the summer heat of the night. Wonshik let Hongbin into their home, helping him take off his coat. They dressed in their pyjamas on opposite ends of the room, eyes shying away from each other and the sweet anticipation hanging in the air. They climbed into bed together, curling up in the sheets facing each other. They were silent however shy smiles adorned their faces. Hongbin reached up to switch off the bedside lamp. “Goodnight.”, he whispered between them.

“Hongbin.”, Wonshik called into the darkness. Their eyes had yet to adjust, but Wonshik reached out a hand to hold onto Hongbin’s. As soon as the other’s large, pretty eyes blinked into vision he slid forward and kissed the other softly. “Goodnight.”, he whispered between their lips, lips curling in a smile at how wide the younger’s eyes got. He slid back into his own space, eyes closing as he basked in the warm feeling that settled in his chest.

They sat opposite each other at the kitchen table, enjoying the meal they had cooked together. It was several weeks after the significant change in their relationship, in their marriage, Hongbin reminded himself. Things were incredibly good between them. Hongbin found himself enamoured by the other. They got along well and the more time they spent together the more Hongbin realised Wonshik was his type too. Wonshik was sweet and kind and caring. He was a dork too and a sucker for romance and all this surprised Hongbin so because he had never expected it from the so called playboy. Hongbin wanted to cringe at his own thoughts but all he could think when they spent time together at home like this was domestic bliss.

He was scared however that things wouldn’t last, that reality would come crashing in.

Wonshik had become bolder with his actions as well. He would hold Hongbin’s hand whenever they were in public, give him short kisses on his cheeks or lips, curling up against him when they slept together in bed. It all warmed him incredibly and he could feel himself blush with every touch. He didn’t want it to stop though, he honestly loved it, but he still felt himself holding back a little.

 

They were curled up together on the couch, the TV on only to hum in the background. Instead they were wrapped up in soft conversation, lulled by wine and the soft crackling of the fireplace warming their bodies. Wonshik smoothed his thumb over the skin of Hongbin’s hand repeatedly. Hongbin wanted to reach out, to pull him closer, but he was just too hesitant.

Wonshik could feel him tensing up alongside his body and he turned around, hovering above Hongbin. The younger felt his breathing speed up at their close proximity.

“You’re still afraid of me.”, Wonshik stated, eyes blinking in the soft lighting of their living room.

Hongbin was often surprised by the other’s observing skills. He seemed daft at the best of times, but nothing missed his attention when it came to those he cared about and every time it warmed Hongbin’s heart to see.

“Not afraid of you necessarily. But…I think I’m afraid this will end? Afraid of my own doubts, maybe? I don’t want to doubt though. I want to be brave and feel, like you do.”

“Then let yourself feel Hongbin. I’m here. I’m yours. I’m not going anywhere, not for as long as you still want me.”

Hongbin’s breath hitched and he placed his hands on either side of Wonshik’s face, taking a moment to appreciate the soft look on the rough looking playboy before him. The stark muscles ad tattoo’s used to intimidate him, but now he was fascinated by the other and he found he grew more and more in love with the little features of Wonshik, day by day.

He darted forward and let himself kiss Wonshik, passionate and with so much emotion that they moaned into each other’s mouths, Wonshik immediately curling his body inward, lining himself up with Hongbin. Hongbin whimpered, closing his eyes and the perfect heat along his body, circling his arms around the other’s neck and letting himself be taken, be vulnerable, be loved.


	13. We fight, but we make up

Hello guys! here is the next one. It is a request from Asdf321 who wanted neo (friendship) who faught but made up I hope you enjoy!

 

“Hakyeon I just don’t understand what you’re expecting of me.”

“The orders aren’t coming from me Taekwoon. Can’t you for one second just realise that I have someone above my own head that’s ordering me around in the first place?! I’m not the jackass here.”

Things in the dorm had become heated when Hakyeon confronted Taekwoon regarding his composing for their latest album. The other members stood arrested around the room, unsure of what to do. They knew they shouldn’t try to intervene from previous experiences and after all, they had fights regularly and sorted things out again just as quickly. But they all also knew that when fights came to sensitive subjects, the ground was dangerous. They didn’t want to leave the two to their own devices, what if things escalated? And they really couldn’t be having obvious tension between members when they were in the heat of promotions.

“Uhm…”, Jaehwan began, taking a tentative step forward, forever trying to be the mediator between the members.

Hakyeon’s gaze snapped towards him, eyes ferocious, even though it wasn’t meant for him. He faltered in his speech, eyes widening. “Go to bed.”, Hakyeon ordered, voice cold. They really didn’t want to disobey Hakyeon, not with the foul mood he was in, but they also didn’t want to let things get out of hand between the two.

“Now.”, Hakyeon commanded, his voice now laden with a threatening quality.

They shuffled out of the living room, leaving the two eldest to glare at each other for a few silent moments. Once the door was shut behind their respective rooms, Taekwoon began talking in a soft, but serious voice. Hongbin sighed as he tried to tune out the hushed whisperings.

“Hakyeon, don’t you think I’m trying my best here? I’ve put stuff before them and they’ve rejected each and every one.”

“Taekwoon I know, and I know that you’re working hard, but this just isn’t good enough and they’re starting to bother me for expectations from you.”

“Well tell them they can fuck off!”, Taekwoon shouted, visibly angry, fists clenched and pretty face twisted in a snarl.

Hakyeon retaliated with much the same expression, consideration and respect thrown out the window. “Sure Taekwoon I’ll just tell our employers to fuck off! Why don’t you just stop being such a pissy about it and do your fucking job!”

“Fuck you Hakyeon, you know you really are an inconsiderate jerk. When the tables were turned and management was up your ass about expectations from you we all supported you, not shat on you like you’re doing to me!” Taekwoon was huffing, chest rising and falling rapidly with each harsh breath. Hakyeon on the other hand appeared calm and composed, eyes hard and cold, his posture distanced and that in itself was frightening.

“Oh you have no idea was has happened before, how I got shit from them, not only because of me, but because of you all and I had to swallow it all down and just take it.”

“Oh please Hakyeon, stop playing that card, how many times do you want to bring up the same old things, huh? It’s not our fault you’re the leader and have to take responsibility for us, stop blaming us for it.”

“I’ve never blamed you guys for it!”, Hakyeon’s calm composure was breaking, the emotion cracking through into his voice, and Taekwoon could just about see unshed tears in the darkness of the room.

“I took their complaints and tried to push you guys gently, give you constructive criticism, I never took it out on you guys, never got angry because of the pressure I got from them, you know that.”, Hakyeon finished, breathing a little harsher himself now. Taekwoon could feel a flash of guilt in his chest, but he pushed it away. It didn’t justify Hakyeon’s words to him earlier. But he knew things were often said that weren’t truly meant when they were exhausted from practice and performances and run down from little rest. They were thoroughly tired and suddenly Taekwoon just felt all his righteous anger leave him, shoulders drooping. It was 3:00 in the morning and they had to get up again at 6. He didn’t want to be doing this anymore.

Taekwoon stared at the other, no harsh words left that he wanted to say. He just didn’t have the energy for it. “I’m tired Hakyeon. And honestly I couldn’t care less what they have to say to me at this moment. I’m tired and I want to go sleep.”

Hakyeon said nothing, just brought his arms up to wrap around himself as he watched Taekwoon step around him and into his own bedroom, door thudding closed.

The silence left after their screaming match rang in Hakyeon’s ears. His nails dug into the skin of his arms as he felt the tension coil within him. He felt guilty for saying those things to Taekwoon. He knew he said it out of anger, which is exactly the thing he told Taekwoon he never does. Jeez he really was an inconsiderate jerk. A hypocrite. He went to go sit on the couch, feeling the tears burn behind his eyelids. He really felt horrid and he knew he needed to apologize. What Taekwoon shouted at him stung though.

In the meantime Hongbin had peered his head through his bedroom door, taking the silence as a que that it was safe to come outside. At first he didn’t see Hakyeon huddled on the couch but as he stepped out he saw the leader, staring out in front of him, clearly very far away. Hongbin wanted to console him but he also knew that it was best to leave Hakyeon alone in these situations and let him sort out his thoughts in peace.

Hongbin made his way silently to the kitchen, merely coming out for a glass of water. Hakyeon didn’t regard him at all and Hongbin had a suspicion the leader hadn’t even noticed him in the first place.

Hongbin sipped away quietly at his water when another door opened across from them. It appeared Taekwoon had had the same idea, probably guessing Hakyeon had left the room already. Taekwoon made enough noise for Hakyeon to look up.

They stared at each other, the tension and unspoken words loud in the silence between them. Taekwoon was clearly surprised the other was still here and Hakyeon just looked very uncomfortable at having to face the other again.

Hongbin stood in the middle of the coiling tension, wide eyed as he waited in suspense for something to happen or one of the two to say something at least. He got a fright when Hakyeon sprang up from the couch, tears spilling over as he ran over to Taekwoon, throwing his arms around the younger and mumbling “I’m sorry” over and over again.

He burrowed his face into Taekwoon’s chest and Hongbin wanted to laugh at the arrested look on Taekwoon’s face. The other look thoroughly put upon, hands hanging in the air clearly unsure what to do. Hakyeon only fisted the other’s shirt tightly, still crying and Taekwoon looked down at the brown head of hair that had found its way there. 

A sigh escaped the younger’s lips and he finally gave him, wrapping his arms around the older, head coming down to rest upon Hakyeon’s. Taekwoon whispered to him that it was okay and that he was sorry as well. Hakyeon simply shook his head in protest, hugging the other even tighter and Hongbin caught Taekwoon smiling down fondly. Hongbin snorted in his glass, the sound loud with the otherwise whispered words and both the others looked over to see him standing in the kitchen.

He froze at being caught before he relaxed his face. “I was never here.”, he said, stepping out of the kitchen and into his bedroom in all of three strides.

Hakyeon and Taekwoon didn’t bother with the other much and the older turned his head up, red eyes regarding the younger above him. He sniffed and blinked some tears out of his eyes. “I really am so sorry Taekwoonie.”, he whispered between them.

Taekwoon released a hand around the other’s waist to come and pet down Hakyeon’s hair. “I am sorry too. We both know we said some things we didn’t mean to.”

Hakyeon nodded finally stepping back and wiping at his tears, giving Taekwoon a watery smile.

“Can I make us some hot cocoa?”, he asked, mirth in his eyes as he glanced at the other. Taekwoon chuckled and nodded. Hakyeon always made them hot cocoa after their fights so they could sit on the couch and talk things out.

Both were too awake to even try and go back to sleep so instead they sat curled up on the couch, facing each other, toes tucked into the others’ legs for warmth. They sipped at their cocoa finding peace in the silence and comfort in each other’s presence. They had talked out all that they needed to and now they simply exchanged hushed whispers, reminiscing on the old days when they would fight and ignore each other for days. They chuckled as they remembered how long it would take them to reconcile.

“At least we got better at fighting.”, Hakyeon laughed. “We can fight and make up in one night, not bad.”

Taekwoon chuckled, smiling warmly at the other. “We know each other much better now. We’ve grown as a group so much.” He was silent for a few moments before he added, “ I love how close we are to each other now.”

Hakyeon’s eyes practically sparkled at the confession and he started squealing, vibrating in his seat at how cute the other was.

Taekwoon grew shy immediately at Hakyeon’s reaction, cheeks reddening and head dipping low. “Hush”, he spoke, trying to hide his smile and swatting in the general direction Hakyeon was sitting.

Hakyeon only laughed harder, struggling to keep it down. “Ah Taekwoonie you really are my cutie pie friend.”, he gushed , rustling the other’s hair.

“Shut up Hakyeon.”, Taekwoon said, but he was very clearly trying to hide his pleased smile behind his cup.


	14. I feel deeply too

A little short and took a turn for slight angst but that's just the mood I'm in so oh well. Thanks for reading guys and remember to leave me requests here in the comments or on AFF or tumblr

 

Taekwoon sighed. Of course his luck would end up this way. He watched in slight jealousy as the others crowed and celebrated over the fact that they weren’t paired up with Hakyeon.

He, himself already wasn’t the best at games, despite being so competitive and trying his hardest, but him and Hakyeon together? It was sure to be a recipe for disaster and the younger’s would definitely crush them. It was a general rule of thumb that they all knew. Hakyeon sucked at games.

He had honestly forgotten what a good team he and Hakyeon made. They were several minutes into their game and doing well. He was laughing freely, enjoying himself. He felt carefree despite the audience that they had. It was liberating and Taekwoon felt a wave of affection for their leader. Hakyeon really did make an effort to include him in everything, to make him feel at ease. He’s been doing it since their debut and even though he needed the little pushes less and less as he grew more comfortable in his own skin, Hakyeon still somehow knew when he would feel that way in situation like this and effortlessly fall into the roll, step in and take the lead until Taekwoon felt like he could breath easily.

Taekwoon realised he was staring at the other from where they were attached to each other by the ridiculous shirt. He dipped his head down in embarrassment when Hakyeon caught him, tilting his head cutely in curiosity. He shook his head in dismissal and Hakyeon only smiled and ruffled his hair affectionately. He knew they sometimes took the leader for granted, but the other did so much for him, for them all and they really shouldn’t.

That night when they were driving back to their hotel, happy but certainly tired, Taekwoon couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with emotions. It had been a taxing few weeks, busy, tiring and plain exhausting certain days and it wasn’t often Taekwoon felt this way. He wasn’t an emotional person in general, but sometimes he felt with an intensity that startled him. Normally it would be not so great feelings, anxiety, fear… but now in this cramped car, with Hakyeon dozing lightly against his shoulder Taekwoon could feel tears sting at his eyes for the amount of appreciation that he had for living out his dreams, for having the love and support of the six members, of their little family.

He watched Hakyeon sleep, the leader looked so peaceful in sleep, all the stress wiped from his features. Taekwoon could appreciate him like this, appreciate and be so thankful for the encouragement and care that was wrapped up in Hakyeon’s slender frame. It was easy to say it, to whisper his thanks into the air between them when he knew Hakyeon was fast asleep. It was easy to take a hold of the hand that rested limply on the leader’s thigh and hold it tightly between his own, warming up the thin, cold fingers. He doesn’t know where he would be without Hakyeon, without having have met him, without someone to hold his hand and guide him when he was afraid. He could only hope he could do the same for Hakyeon and chase away all the nightmares that plagues him.


	15. Life-long friends

Hello guys, here's a new one which was requested from vixxcha. it was a bit difficult for me to write and keep it as a drabble because the request had a lot of content but I hope it's still okay. Omw I still haven't gotten back to replying to comments but I promise I will! I'm quite a bit stressed because I have a lot of work lined up for me for the rest of this month, however if anyone does have a new requets you're welcome to message/comment and I will start working on it anyway although I can't promise to have it done by a specific date at the moment with how things are going. Thank you for all the support guys I really appreciate it :)

Taekwoon sighed looking up towards the ceiling as if help would come from it. He wondered probably for the hundredth time this past month if it was possible to call the Ghostbusters. A month ago his life seemed to take a turn for the better. He got a new job which he thoroughly enjoyed, got to move into a new apartment, happened to live a few doors down from a very adorable guy, with the brightest most precious dimpled smile… until he realised his apartment had an unwelcome guest living inside it.

“Aw come on, I’m not that bad, I don’t even bother you all that much.”

Taekwoon bobbed his head back down to stare at the slightly luminous, floating figure in front of him. Hakyeon, he had learned had died here, in this apartment, several months earlier and apparently had a little bit of trouble moving on, meaning he was stuck in here. The fact that someone had died here had alarmed Taekwoon almost more than the fact that he could apparently see and talk to a dead person. Hakyeon was currently standing across from him, arms crossed, brow furrowed.

“You’re here! It’s annoying enough, you shouldn’t be here in the first place. Move on already.”

Hakyeon looked genuinely hurt at the comment and Taekwoon felt a little guilty at saying something so harsh. He felt guilty about hurting a ghosts’ feelings….what had his life come to?

“I’m sorry, I know you can’t…I’m sure you don’t want to be stuck here.”

Hakyeon turned his back on him, but Taekwoon could hear some sniffling. Could ghosts cry?

“Exactly, I don’t want to be here. I’m stuck. And you’re the only one who can see me…who can talk to me. You’re my only friend at the moment.” Hakyeon turned around to catch Taekwoon opening his mouth, clearly trying to defer that comment, but Hakyeon shushed him. “Please, don’t pretend we aren’t friends on some level. You talk to me about Hongbin all day long, and I even helped to get you two together! Now you’ve starting dating… thanks to me!”

Taekwoon sighed, but came closer to the other, attempting to reach out and touch, already knowing what would happen if he tried. He felt cold. But maybe it was the thought that count, at least he tried to comfort Hakyeon.

Hakyeon gave him a small smile. “Thanks Taekwoonie, even though you try and insist we aren’t friends. Besides you don’t want to make me angry or I’ll start throwing things whenever Hongbin comes over.”

Taekwoon’s face was one of utter horror and Hakyeon laughed, the sound cheerful in the apartment.

 

“I’m boored.”, Hakyeon whined, perching on the armrest of the couch on which Hongbin and Taekwoon were getting cosy. He had the decency to give them privacy when Hongbin was over, but it had already been three hours and there was only so much he could do to keep himself busy in the apartment. Taekwoon slid him a one-eyed glare trying not to be too obvious with Hongbin staring at him with googly eyes. Hakyeon certainly found this more entertaining. Although he wasn’t really big on seeing any PDA, seeing Taekwoon get all nervous and flustered and clumsy when Hongbin was around was fun, and it was especially bad when Taekwoon had an audience, namely Hakyeon sitting and staring at him with a shit-eating grin. When, another two hours later, Hongbin finally left, Taekwoon shut the door closed and immediately turned to stare Hakyeon down.

“That’s it, I’m definitely finding out what happened to you so can get out of my hair and love life.”

Hakyeon snorted, but he was in actual fact happy that someone was willing to help him. He had been in despair before meeting Taekwoon, not really being able to get anything done himself as a ghost. But Taekwoon would hopefully be his saving grace.

 

“I’m sorry! There really isn’t much I can remember. I know it was dark when I got home, I tried to switch on the lights but the electricity must have been off, I don’t know, but it didn’t want to work and the next thing I know is wake up like this.”

Taekwoon remained silent for a long while, clearly unsure how to continue without touching onto a sensitive topic. After a while of opening and closing his mouth and probably looking like an idiot he spoke up. “Hakyeon, you realise you were most likely murdered right? Like someone was probably waiting for you in the apartment, maybe they had tried to rob it, and when you came in they killed you.”

Hakyeon looked immensely saddened and Taekwoon regretted opening his mouth. But in all honesty it was the most likely possibility. He really wanted to say something comforting to the other but when he looked up again, Hakyeon had dissipated into thin air.

It was only the following morning that Hakyeon appeared again, looking rather determined.

“I’m ready to find out.”

And so began extensive research on both their parts. Taekwoon had some time off work which allowed him to help Hakyeon and the other was immensely grateful that he was using his free time by helping him. A week passed, and Hakyeon felt himself baffled at how much fun he had with the other. If he was being honest with himself he had never had a friendship in his life he could say was honest and true. But somehow he felt, even in the short span of knowing Taekwoon for two months, he had made a true friend, someone that cared for him. Cared enough to do so much for him.

“Are you okay?”,Taekwoon asked, snapping Hakyeon out of his daze.

“Huh? Oh yeah, was just thinking.” Taekwoon gave him a curious look and Hakyeon fidgeted a little before he divulged.

“I’ve never had any friends.”, he said. “For a long time I secluded myself. I lived alone. Never mingled with anyone at work. I never tried to make friends. I don’t know. I didn’t feel that it was necessary you know? People should survive without others, that how I rationalised it. I actually did start getting to know something close to my death, now that I think about it.”

Hakyeon’s eyes had widened. He only remembered these memories now as if he had forgotten the young, troubled boy he had befriended one night while walking back from work. The boy looked out of place, pacing, a worried frown between his brows. Hakyeon had stopped to ask if he was alright. The boy had given him a lopsided smile. Hakyeon had felt a strange urge to help him. He found the boy there each night at the same place and they would talk while Hakyeon walked home. The boy would leave then seeing Hakyeon off and disappear into the night.

Taekwoon had a worried look on his face. “Hakyeon there used to be a lot of drug activity in this area before your death. The cops all drove them away before I moved here, but maybe he was a druggy. He probably was.”

Hakyeon looked reminiscent, considering that fact. “I think he was yes. I think he was probably selling them there. He had never told me it directly, but he had alluded to it. Probably trying to get me to buy some from him no doubt. But he had looked worse off as time went on. Seemed very on edge, anxious. I think he couldn’t get his hands on any drugs anymore near the end. It’s sad. You know he was actually very nice. We had great conversations, about anything and everything. I feel like he had been my friend, my only friend I’d ever had.”

“Hakyeon.”

Taekwoon’s voice had sounded so tortured that Hakyeon looked up suddenly, alarmed at his tone of voice.

Taekwoon worried his lip, turning his laptop to face Hakyeon. “I found this article a couple of days ago. It was written pretty badly and was very vague that I didn’t think much of it at first. But I think this is what happened to you.”

“25 year old man, killed and robbed by young drug dealer.”, Hakyeon read aloud.

“Do you think…?”, he trailed off, voice shaking slightly.

“Hakyeon I think it’s that guy. He knew where you lived, he walked you home every day. He probably ran out of cash to buy drugs, wanted to rob your place, and when you got home unexpectedly early that day, he killed you.”

“He wouldn’t…he wouldn’t have…”

Hakyeon was shaking, visibly upset, tears brimming his eyes.

“Hakyeon…he was a druggie. That was the most important thing to him.” Hakyeon started to cry and Taekwoon crawled forward to embrace him, supressing how cold he felt suddenly. “I’m so sorry Hakyeon, that was cruel of him, but you shouldn’t have trusted someone so dodgy.”

Hakyeon gave a self-deprecating laugh, wiping his tears. “I think I was so desperate to have someone to talk to. To have some sort of bond with someone. How fucking ironic is that? The first friend I make and he literally kills me.”

Taekwoon swallowed hard, the lump in his throat painful, his own tears stinging his eyes. “I’m so sorry”, he said again and again, rocking Hakyeon gently. “You didn’t deserve this. You’re good and trusting and so nice, you didn’t deserve to die this young.”

Taekwoon cried for the poor soul, a young man so full of love that was taken too soon.

 

Hakyeon mourned his death for the first time, finally coming to terms of what had happened to him. He was grateful however that he had never seen the boy’s face that night. Maybe he could believe that it had not been him. Maybe.

“Hakyeon?”

Taekwoon asked from where he was lying on the rug next to Hakyeon, holding his hand gently for comfort. Hakyeon hummed.

“What’s going to happen now? Are you going to move on?”

“I have no idea. I don’t feel any different.”

Hakyeon turned to look at Taekwoon, blinking residual tears out of his eyes.

“Thank you. For everything you have done. Without you I would never have known.”

Taekwoon smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “I still wonder why I’m the only one that can see you.”

“Maybe the universe knew you would accept this situation, accept me. Other people would’ve called an exorcist or something.”

Taekwoon laughed. “Hey, I bet if we met when you were alive, we would be friends too.”

Hakyeon’s eyed widened. “What do you mean too?”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”, Taekwoon grinned.

Hakyeon looked disbelieving for a little while before he broke out in a blinding grin and even shedding some happy tears. You finally admitted it!”, he sighed happily then, “Friends.”, and Taekwoon could swear he was glowing from how blissful he looked.

“Life-long friends”, Taekwoon confirmed, unable to keep a smile off his own face.

Hakyeon smiled, but Taekwoon frowned, something a little off about how Hakyeon was looking. He was indeed glowing, eerily, becoming translucent almost.

Taekwoon sat up quickly, alarmed. “Hakyeon”

Hakyeon didn’t look worried at all however, still smiling unperturbed.

“Hakyeon you’re-”

But Hakyeon was gone already and Taekwoon was left in the stark, silent apartment alone. He sat there for who knows how long, staring ahead into the place where Hakyeon had disappeared. He swore he could still see a residual glow there and when he closed his eyes he could surely see Hakyeon still lying there, smile on his face.

Taekwoon heard the door open and Hongbin’s voice call out to him.

“Taekwoon? Taekwoon, what’s going on? You’re sitting here in the dark, I-”

Hongbin had stopped abruptly, shocked at the blank look and silent tears on Taekwoon’s face.

“Taekwoon, dear, what happened?” Hongbin’s warm hands cradled his face and Taekwoon leaned into the gentle heat, grateful for it after sitting so long in the cold apartment.

“My friend died.”


	16. And I'll hold on to it (don't you let it pass you by)

Hello guys!! It's been quite a while I know. I'm sorry for being so absent. I can't even say that I've been writing loads in the backgound. Academic work has been keeping me busy, but I'm glad to say I'm pretty much done now, only a research project to finish up really. But anyway I've missed writing so much but I haven't had any inspiration to come up with even a drabble and I haven't had any other requests. Yesterday though, I was sitting in my lunch break listening to music when Avril Lavigne's Innocence came on and immediately I just thought of it as a wedding song, and Neo slow dancing to it, came to my head. I was immediately like okay woah I need to make this a drabble at least. So here it is! I hope this jumpstarts me to think of new ideas and hopefully get more writing done. Anyway guys I hope you enjoy it. its quite short but please let me know what you think of it!

I HIGHLY recommend that you guys listen to the song while reading. the lyics really reflect what is happening and how they feel. it will make it just that much more special (^_^)

Thank you guys for all the love and support. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart <3

 

The venue was filled with the chatter of all their friends and family together, the room bathed in a warm glow from the twinkling lights above. Hakyeon finally had a moment to think to himself, to drink in all the sights around him. He could appreciate the fairy tale look the beautiful hall had been transformed into, he could smile and feel warmth spread through him as he watched their families laugh together, sharing stories among the table. He could take a moment to glance at Taekwoon, across the room, still swarmed into congratulations by friends of theirs that had come from far.

He drank in the way his, now, husband looked, adorned in a classic tux that fit him perfectly, he could appreciate the adorable way his hair framed his face in black waves and most importantly he could stare lovingly at the way he smiled and laughed, unabashed, cheeks glowing red, most probably a combination of all the attention and a few champagne glasses in. Shit, he couldn’t believe this was real. This was their day. They were married now. This beautiful man across the room was his, forever.

The song changed and Hakyeon saw as Taekwoon’s head snapped up, eyes searching the room for a moment before they landed on Hakyeon. Taekwoon looked surprised for a moment that Hakyeon’s eyes was already on his, so the older gave him a rueful smile. He watched Taekwoon take a moment to murmur something to the guests he was talking to, before taking quick, long strides towards Hakyeon.

Hakyeon stepped forward, meeting Taekwoon in the middle of the dancefloor. They melded together naturally, Hakyeon resting his head underneath Taekwoon’s, revelling in the heat surrounding him as the other wrapped his arms around him.

The song that played wasn’t their song exactly, but it had been something that had become special to them none the less. Coincidently they had discovered the meaning it had to them at a wedding of a friend. They had been dating three years at that point. The words of the song had rung clear as they had stared in each other’s eyes and soaked in the love enveloping them, that night. They had been swept into the atmosphere of the wedding, daydreaming together of what their own would be like. And now the day was here.

Hakyeon was sure the memory was playing in Taekwoon’s mind too as they swayed to the music. Hakyeon gripped him tighter at the words. “This is prefect.”, he spoke, voice suddenly thick at the wave of emotions the song, and the moment brought to him.

Taekwoon slid his arms away only to regard Hakyeon with tearful eyes of his own. He cupped the older’s face in his hands, so gentle, as he smiled, brightly down at Hakyeon.

“I love you so much.”, Taekwoon said, leaning down to kiss Hakyeon on his lips. That was the breaking point for Hakyeon. He broke out in a sob, burrowing his head into Taekwoon’s chest, feeling the younger’s hands rub soothing patterns on his back and through his hair.

Taekwoon brought his mouth to Hakyeon’s ear and began to sing softly along to the lyrics.

“This innocence is brilliance, I hope that it will stay. This moment is perfect, please don’t go away.”

“I can’t believe this is real.”, Hakyeon gasped between tears, lifting his head from Taekwoon’s chest to take the younger’s hand into his. He thumbed at the ring on Taekwoon’s finger, staring in awe.

“Hakyeon”, Taekwoon spoke, and the other raised his head in question. The emotions swirling there in his husbands eyes took his breath away. Taekwoon was looking at him as if his entire world was in Hakyeon’s eyes.

“I can’t imagine being any happier than now. I feel like bursting, I can’t…I can’t even put it into words.”, he traced his fingers along Hakyeon’s cheek, bushing a strand of hair away. “You mean everything to me Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon closed his eyes, feeling another tear slip down his face, he bit his lip to keep from sobbing like a child again. But it was happy tears after all; he was so incredible happy.

He gripped onto Taekwoon, hugging him tight enough to become one. He skimmed his cheek against the other’s neck, standing on tip toes to whisper I love you over and over again in Taekwoon’s ear, fingers carding through the hair, soft at his neck.

They swayed around the room, feeling every word reverberate in the air between them. Taekwoon twirled Hakyeon away from him, swinging him back and catching him in his arms, their hands entwined between them. That beautiful smile was still on Taekwoon’s lips, unafraid. It made Hakyeon inexplicably happy. Taekwoon squeezed Hakyeon to him, a laugh bubbling from his lips.

Hakyeon leaned forward, to kiss him, sweet, adoring, unhurried, to the background of friends and family catcalling. The room turned into a collective coo of aww as Taekwoon swept Hakyeon up in his arms twirling him around and around, their laughter creating an exquisite melody.


	17. It's not always easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yes I am alive?... Three months later but I'm finally back with an update. Life has kept me very busy, a change of city, job and lots of other little things have happened, but now I'm all settled again and once I had the capacity to think about things again I realised how much I missed writing. This one was actually already done and initially I thought I was going to add to it, but I realised it wasn't necessary to fidget with it any longer.   
> This was a request from an reader on AFF who wanted Neo first time parents. It's definitely a little different and quite short but as a comeback into writing I think it's okay.   
> Guys thank you for all the support and kudos I really appreciate it. It still lighted up my day whenever I got emails to say another kudo was given on my fics :) I hope you guys enjoy and remember feel free to leave comments and any requests you might have.

“Taekwoon, I’m miserable”, Hakyeon whined. He was sitting back on the couch, stomach practically a mini mountain before him, hindering his sight. The sweltering summer heat wasn’t helping either and the fact that he was three days past his due date just wanted to make him scream from pure frustration. He wanted this baby out now.

Taekwoon sighed, albeit trying not to be too obvious about it in case it aggravated Hakyeon. “I know, and I’m sorry, I wish I could make you feel comfortable.”

He was earnest as he said this, taking Hakyeon’s hand into his own, and brushing a few sweaty strands from Hakyeon’s forehead with his other.

Still, despite this, Hakyeon gave him an unimpressed look. “Sorry doesn’t help.” He still however kept a hold onto Taekwoon’s hand, but he sighed, blowing out the air, as he closed his eyes and sank his head back onto the couch.

“I’m hormonal and emotional and so hot and absolutely nothing makes me feel better anymore. I don’t even feel excited for him. I used to get so happy at the thought of my baby, but Taek…all I feel is miserable and depressed and I’m scared.”

At this point Hakyeon had opened his eyes again and was staring very worriedly into Taekwoon’s.

“You’re going to be okay, I promise. Hakyeon I’m sure every single pregnant person feels this way, especially those that carry passed their due date. You’re not depressed honey, you’re just pregnant.”

“You say that, but this somehow feels different. And you know, you know I’ve struggled in the past, I-” Hakyeon’s voice broke and a tear slipped down his cheek. Taekwon reacted reflexively, as he did whenever Hakyeon had been in distress in these past nine months, and leaned closer, wiping the tear away, cradling Hakyeon’s face in his hands.

“Your only worry is the fear of what may be, but it’s not guaranteed, so please don’t stress yourself out about it. You will be fine, and I will be here, with every step, my darling, you will never be alone throughout any of this.”

Hakyeon for the most part seemed to accept his words somewhat and relaxed his body against Taekwoon’s. They were quiet for some time until Taekwoon rose, offering his hand to the other.

“Come on, I have something in mind that might cheer you up and cool you down at the very least.”

It turned out a dip into the shallow side of their pool, with virgin strawberry daiquiris really did manage to calm and cool Hakyeon’s frayed nerves.

 

“You can take him.”

Taekwoon looked back at Hakyeon incredulously, Sanghyuk, their baby wiggling silently in his arms. Hakyeon had given birth not fifteen minutes ago, but already he had enough of his child. He knew it was going to happen, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with his baby once he was born. The feeling of guilt at the fact that he had this attitude towards his own child that he had just given birth to was overwhelming. What kind of a horrible human being was he? Child birth, seeing your child that you carried for 9 months, for the first time, was supposed to be the most amazing experience in the world, it’s quite literally a miracle of life, yet all he wanted to do was hand the child over to Taekwoon to take away.

He couldn’t handle looking into his baby’s innocent eyes knowing the poor child would only be reciprocated with a feeling of fear and dread. He honestly just wanted to be alone and cry. He couldn’t even find the strength to look at Taekwoon. He could only imagine the disappointment and hurt in his husband’s eyes. It just made it worse, the fact that he was not only letting his child down but the person that loved and cared for him most in the world.

 

“Stop making yourself crazy with your thoughts. Talk to me.”

Taekwoon’s voice and comforting hand on his, shook Hakyeon from his thoughts. When he opened his eyes Taekwoon was sitting on the bed next to him, the staff had all disappeared from the room and Sanghyuk was gone. For a moment he felt a spike of panic light through him.

Taekwoon, of course, noticed his worry. “They took Sanghyuk to the nursery. Only until you are ready to see him again.”

Hakyeon felt relief, then some surprise. He was relieved that his baby was safe…that had to mean something right? That he cared?

“I’m such a failure as a father already Taekwoon, I’m even failing you.”

“Darling you aren’t.” Taekwoon threaded his fingers through the older’s hair and Hakyeon definitely appreciated the touch. It calmed him immensely.

“You aren’t. Please don’t think of yourself that way. This whole situation is so overwhelming. It really is normal to feel this way Hakyeon and it actually happens to many people. And baby you’re not alone. I’m here to help you through it, okay? We will take it slow.”

Hakyeon nodded, squeezing Taekwoon’s hand, the tears pretty much uncontrollable at this point. After he had calmed down some, he had requested to be alone and to get some rest, with Taekwoon’s promise that he would look after Sanghyuk.

 

It didn’t get any worse, but it took a long time and slow progress for things to get better.

“He wants you.”, Taekwoon spoke, tentative in the tilt of his arms towards Hakyeon.

His first instinct was to take 10 steps backwards, hurry away from the anxiety that was creeping up him as he looked at Sanghyuk, the infant’s eyes resting on his as he cried out.

He couldn’t explain the horrific feeling that spread within him. It was like he was afraid of his own child. Of how he could screw up, would fail Taekwoon. It was incredibly difficult but he had started, slowly but surely, dismissing the negative thoughts that flooded his brain the moment he set eyes on his child. He would also swallow down the guilt, tell himself he was being irrational. It helped, a little.

Hakyeon stepped forward instead, breathing deeply to try and calm himself. He held his arms out and watched as Taekwoon placed Sanghyuk in his arms. He wanted to start crying the moment he laid eyes on him.

“You’re doing great, Hakyeon. Look at how he’s calmed down just by being in your arms.”

Taekwoon’s constant encouraging words and soft comforting touches, was what helped him through this the most. It had been a week. In which Hakyeon had only held Sanghyuk three times. The first, after Sanghyuk had been fetched from the nursery was the worst. Hakyeon barely had Sanghyuk in his arms for a second before he was shoving him back to Taekwoon, Hakyeon screaming to get away and have the child taken out of the room. It had been disturbing and had certainly worried all the staff involved. Enough to recommend a psychologist and medication. Hakyeon knew what it was, but he refused any medication and with reassurance from Taekwoon that they would follow through should anything drastic happen, they were let home. Hakyeon could feel the pity in their eyes as they watched them go.

Taekwoon the perfect doting father and the psychotic “mother”.

Hakyeon sighed, closing his eyes. He would not let these negative thoughts take him down. This swirling depth of depression was bad enough without him talking himself deeper. He went to go sit on the couch, glancing down at his child. At least he was better now. He could, with great effort tamp down his thoughts, and the fact that he was capable of holding his child was already another big step.

“Thank you so much for not giving up on me.” Hakyeon whispered, not looking away from the pale blue eyes of his child staring back at him. He had meant it for both Taekwoon and Sanghyuk.

He held out his finger and felt his throat tighten as Sanghyuk grabbed a hold with his little hand. It was difficult forcing himself to feel something, to feel a bond full of love for the little person that was suddenly in his life. With anything else in life you had time to build these kind of relationships with people, but here he was expected to feel love the instant he held his child. Maybe some people could, could feel that wonderful feeling from the moment they lay eyes on their babies. But for him it would take time. He would get to know Sanghyuk, get to know what he liked and disliked, get to know his quirks, let Sanghyuk get to know him. And there was nothing wrong with that, right?

As long as they grew closer each day, and they would. They were a family now.


End file.
